Assuming you caught my chat with Ms Fractal... I can't say I was really expecting her to show up here. Expect the unexpected I guess...
Anyways, I felt like I responded appropriately at the time, but ever since I woke up this morning I've felt really awkward about the conversation. Something about it just feels wrong and it's bothering me. I guess she got to me more than I realized. Tricky bitch...
The more I think about it, the more I think my major hangup was on the notion that I'm not as sane as I appear to be... and that I'm hiding things. Well, for starters, I really don't think I'm going to start calling my sanity into question at the advice of a woman who's unreliable narrator syndrome knows no bounds. A person who would claim to have been gifted with supernatural powers from an Evil Freaking Tree. For whom "Bipolar" does not even begin to describe. For whom "Psychotic Murderous Bitch" is an understatement. Who's only stated goal is the spread of Anarchy... because yeah, a little more chaos and disorder is really what we need right now, we're not drowning in that already or anything. A person who can't even seem to decide just who the fuck she is. This is the person questioning MY sanity? Ridiculous.
Your little Heath Ledger wannabe act isn't fooling anyone you know? I know what you're trying to do. Problem is you're barking up the wrong tree. I'm not Harvey Dent, I don't have any demons to hide. You caught me by surprise and I let my guard down out of some misguided sense of sympathy for your plight. It won't happen again. I may well not be the most sane man on the planet, but I'm certainly ahead of you by a hop, skip, and a mile.
As for the rest of it. Am I hiding things from people? Am I wearing a mask? Tch... Perhaps you could call it that. I'm certainly withholding information about myself, but I believe we've been over that haven't we? No names, no locations, no dates, no family history, no where did I work, nothing personally identifying. I'm getting along well enough with Proxies, but that doesn't mean I want them carrying around my personal information. I've got one chance of survival out here and I'm not about to go shooting myself in the foot.
I made my last post to try and let people get to know me better. To try and explain where I'm coming from. Did I leave things out? Of course I did! What? What do you want? My life's fucking story? It's not very interesting. Just another sap story in a long line of sap stories that you've all heard before. Why should I be so special?
I just don't really like talking about myself, okay? What I think of myself probably doesn't translate into what others think about me anyways. Like, oh hey! I didn't mention that I'm a judgmental prick! Oh, because you already know that! You figured that one out all on your own. I didn't have to spell it out for you. Do you need me to explain WHY I'm a judgmental prick? Maybe I've just always been a judgmental prick. I'm being one right now aren't I? See? It's just natural.
Good grief, I was just trying to give people a chance to get to know me a little better. Nobody is really talking to me unless I make a big fuss over something. Maybe I'd just like to have a NORMAL conversation with someone for once? Is that so hard? No, no, I must be trying to "manipulate people" so that I can lure them into a deadly trap and stab them to death From My Hole In The Ground. Really??? Uuuggghh!
So, yeah, okay. I'm done with this one. I just... Uuuuugh... Headache. Some of you people are just Such a Headache. I'm done talking about myself, if you want to know something else about me then freaking ASK ME. Otherwise, I'm moving on to topics of actual relevance from here on out. I've wasted enough time on this.