Assuming you caught my chat with Ms Fractal... I can't say I was really expecting her to show up here. Expect the unexpected I guess...
Anyways, I felt like I responded appropriately at the time, but ever since I woke up this morning I've felt really awkward about the conversation. Something about it just feels wrong and it's bothering me. I guess she got to me more than I realized. Tricky bitch...
The more I think about it, the more I think my major hangup was on the notion that I'm not as sane as I appear to be... and that I'm hiding things. Well, for starters, I really don't think I'm going to start calling my sanity into question at the advice of a woman who's unreliable narrator syndrome knows no bounds. A person who would claim to have been gifted with supernatural powers from an Evil Freaking Tree. For whom "Bipolar" does not even begin to describe. For whom "Psychotic Murderous Bitch" is an understatement. Who's only stated goal is the spread of Anarchy... because yeah, a little more chaos and disorder is really what we need right now, we're not drowning in that already or anything. A person who can't even seem to decide just who the fuck she is. This is the person questioning MY sanity? Ridiculous.
Your little Heath Ledger wannabe act isn't fooling anyone you know? I know what you're trying to do. Problem is you're barking up the wrong tree. I'm not Harvey Dent, I don't have any demons to hide. You caught me by surprise and I let my guard down out of some misguided sense of sympathy for your plight. It won't happen again. I may well not be the most sane man on the planet, but I'm certainly ahead of you by a hop, skip, and a mile.
As for the rest of it. Am I hiding things from people? Am I wearing a mask? Tch... Perhaps you could call it that. I'm certainly withholding information about myself, but I believe we've been over that haven't we? No names, no locations, no dates, no family history, no where did I work, nothing personally identifying. I'm getting along well enough with Proxies, but that doesn't mean I want them carrying around my personal information. I've got one chance of survival out here and I'm not about to go shooting myself in the foot.
I made my last post to try and let people get to know me better. To try and explain where I'm coming from. Did I leave things out? Of course I did! What? What do you want? My life's fucking story? It's not very interesting. Just another sap story in a long line of sap stories that you've all heard before. Why should I be so special?
I just don't really like talking about myself, okay? What I think of myself probably doesn't translate into what others think about me anyways. Like, oh hey! I didn't mention that I'm a judgmental prick! Oh, because you already know that! You figured that one out all on your own. I didn't have to spell it out for you. Do you need me to explain WHY I'm a judgmental prick? Maybe I've just always been a judgmental prick. I'm being one right now aren't I? See? It's just natural.
Good grief, I was just trying to give people a chance to get to know me a little better. Nobody is really talking to me unless I make a big fuss over something. Maybe I'd just like to have a NORMAL conversation with someone for once? Is that so hard? No, no, I must be trying to "manipulate people" so that I can lure them into a deadly trap and stab them to death From My Hole In The Ground. Really??? Uuuggghh!
So, yeah, okay. I'm done with this one. I just... Uuuuugh... Headache. Some of you people are just Such a Headache. I'm done talking about myself, if you want to know something else about me then freaking ASK ME. Otherwise, I'm moving on to topics of actual relevance from here on out. I've wasted enough time on this.
^_^ Thanks for the slew of compliments, Gargle. I guess you're not such a bad guy after all, even if you ARE a sneaky little prick. If you want a normal conversation, believe me, you're making entirely the wrong type of blog for that. So just take pleasure in the fascinating people you're surrounded by, yes?
ReplyDeleteOh, and a small note. It is the nature of people to be constantly changing and redefining myself. So what if I can't decide what I am? Neither can anyone else. I just don't lie to myself and pretend my identity is set and unchanging.
Have a nice night, dearie! ^_-
I had been planning to comment on your last post, but it almost felt... what would be the word? Intrusive, perhaps. As though I would be interrupting a lovers-spat. Not to say I didn't want to. Or I wasn't amused by the entire thing. But one must decide sometimes what is worth sticking their nose into and what is not.
ReplyDeletePerhaps that is your own problem, little Brooklyn?
Trying to make friends with Runners tends to be a touch difficult when you criticize the beloved Popular Kids. Hence why you amuse Proxies like myself. It has been some time since someone on their side wasn't an idealist. It's intriguing. Nearly fascinating. To watch Runners turn on Runners. Like a living Lord of the Flies.
I do have a question, however. Food supply. How long are you stocked up for? You've already been there for several months, after all. You can't stay down there forever. Unless you believing starving to death is a pleasant way to go. In which case, good luck to you with that.
My darling Duskwhimper, are you accusing me of being a most vile viper of a Runner? Hardly nice, dear. I'm neither Runner nor Proxy, since I endorse neither view. Just saying. I don't like our dear Gargle because he's a pretentious bastard. I DO find it amusing, though, that he took time from his oh-so-busy (and excruciatingly detailed) schedule to post an entire entry in a rather transparent and pathetic attempt to insult me. So maybe he's worth reading for the lulz, yes?
ReplyDeleteHaaa... but Fractal, you don't like Anyone. But that's okay, because I'm pretty sure no one likes you either.
ReplyDeleteYou just keep smiling and being crazy. I'll just keep being a judgmental prick and start ignoring you.
Ahem, and dear god Nightscream, butt in at any time. I'd have rather been arguing with Elaine all that time. I'm missing F&C already...
I'm definitely rubbing people the wrong way though, aren't I? Good thing I'm already on my own, else they'd have probably left me behind by now. I doubt I can repair much of my image at this point, so I may as well roll with it.
As for your question... it's only been, two months... I think. And I don't guess I mind answering that, not like it matters. Supplies aren't exactly dwindling, but they're lower than I expected them to be by now. Though getting sick and not eating probably saved me a few days worth... I dunno. It'll be a fair while longer before I'll have to start worrying about it. Hopefully I'll have figured something else out by then.
Oh, you misunderstand me, Gargle. I like you perfectly well. I just think you're a narrow-minded, sneaky prick who wants to believe he's smarter than everyone else. And believe me, Gargle, I know your type. Your pride won't let you ignore me, especially if other people start agreeing with my statements.
ReplyDeleteBut good luck with that, anyway. TTFN, dearie.
@Brooklyn, well, I would have normally. But that would have interrupted the show. I am nothing if not a lover of dramatics. You two were managing enough of that on your own. Anything I said would have simply ruined the mood of you two lovebirds.
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, you've done I fine job of driving your own plane into the ground with a glorious burst of flames. A+ Effort. Though I must disagree. You wouldn't be "left behind." You'd simply have an "unfortunate accident." Now, doesn't that sound better?
@Fractal Darling. My God, what a nickname! How creative! How inspiring! How devastating! I may never recover. Truly. My dear Rambler, how can I assume anything when nothing I said was directed towards you? Or did you just ASSUME it was? You're not one with much room to speak of being pretentious, sweetpea. Mind your manners. Because, honestly...? Listen.
...
...
...
That would be the sound of my not caring.
Oh, I make assumptions left and right, Screamer. Everybody does. As for your nickname...now who's making assumptions? It was meant to be something quick to get your attention. Clearly, it's gone horribly right. Ah, well. And I really don't care that you don't care. I speak only to amuse myself.
ReplyDeleteWow, all the drama really does come to your blog, doesn't it Gargoyle? All this bickering and name calling, it's like a romantic comedy over here. Ooh, ooh, insult me next, come on, let's see what you've got.
ReplyDeleteSee you around
-Cage
Please would...
ReplyDeletePlease would you
people maybe be
a little bit nicer?
I mean... If it
is not too much
trouble.
^_^ Well...only because you asked so nicely, fey little Fay.
ReplyDelete@Fractal Darling. If you want something more fitting, I could just call you "Screecher" or "Squeaky Wheel." I'm not in much of a mood to give names. You understand, don't you, darling? Though you seem in need of the amusement. A comment half an hour after the post... then another comment two minutes after mine to respond... then another comment two minutes after Gargoyle... then another five minutes after mine... then ANOTHER comment one minute after Ember there...
ReplyDeleteSweetie, you should really get away from the computer. It's not good for your health.
@Freedomcaged. Come to us, my little oxymoron. Be drawn into the drama. The chaos. THE NIGHTMARE. There is no escape! No hope! No dreams! No sliver of sanity that will save your damned soul...
Basically, as someone I used to know would say: "Same shit. Different day."
@Ember Fay, I'm afraid that is against my contract. So sorry.
Ember, you seem, to me, a kind soul. That's a blessed rarity, and one I can respect.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea who you are Fractal, but perhapes I shall look into you later, after I get my computer back.
Finally, I prefer paradox, Nightscream, but either one works. I have to say, I loved that little comment of yours, I may just have to become a proxy just for the one-liners that seem come with the title.
See you around
-Cage
I think I had something to say, but then I got to Ember and decided to chill. So nevermind.
ReplyDeleteBut Cage, if you ever do something really stupid, I promise to insult you then. How's that for a deal?
Watching the drama unfold here is making me wish I had some popcorn
ReplyDeleteIn regards to the post, say what you want to say, Gargoyle. It's your blog, you decide how personal to make it.
As for a question about you: If you could be an animal other than human, what would you be and why?
And I can't stop myself from answering that question, can I?
ReplyDelete....a Mouse.
And I don't have a good explanation, that's just the answer. Fucking dreams... >.<;
Yes Gargoyle, it's a deal.
ReplyDeleteSee you around
-Cage
Wolfie, I wish for the popcorn more and more as I read these silly, ridiculous, inflammatory posts. And yet, they are some of my favorites through all the 150+ blogs I have read. This is sad.
ReplyDeleteBe inflammatory towards me sometime. I promise you, Fractal Darling and the like won't be the only ones to come barking up your tree. Though, if you add a blade and some fire in there, I might just come let you out of that pretty little bunker of yours.
You know, if you're going to be hiding in plain sight from an eldritch abomination that can appear wherever and whenver he wants to.. you might as well go to a place that makes sense. I sincerely doubt you can make as much of a mess as the last set of bastards to run through my house.
But you don't trust anyone enough to open that door for you, do you? Nah, I don't think so. Figured I'd give you the chance to get some fresh air, though I guess I'm bluffing myself at this point. Keep on watching dear, maybe one day you'll let the mask lower enough to realize SLENDY ALREADY KNOWS YOU'RE THERE.
I'm not going to save anyone that doesn't want to be saved. No damsels(knights?) at the top of the tower for me. Bitch, let down your hair, or I just sit down here and laugh at the absurdness of it all. I apologize if this is offensive... I'm too fucking tired to care!
New friend, I have around 20 more posts to go, and I am likely to anger you at some point. OOOOOPS! <3