Clearing the Air...

Assuming you caught my chat with Ms Fractal... I can't say I was really expecting her to show up here. Expect the unexpected I guess...

Anyways, I felt like I responded appropriately at the time, but ever since I woke up this morning I've felt really awkward about the conversation. Something about it just feels wrong and it's bothering me. I guess she got to me more than I realized. Tricky bitch...

The more I think about it, the more I think my major hangup was on the notion that I'm not as sane as I appear to be... and that I'm hiding things. Well, for starters, I really don't think I'm going to start calling my sanity into question at the advice of a woman who's unreliable narrator syndrome knows no bounds. A person who would claim to have been gifted with supernatural powers from an Evil Freaking Tree. For whom "Bipolar" does not even begin to describe. For whom "Psychotic Murderous Bitch" is an understatement. Who's only stated goal is the spread of Anarchy... because yeah, a little more chaos and disorder is really what we need right now, we're not drowning in that already or anything. A person who can't even seem to decide just who the fuck she is. This is the person questioning MY sanity? Ridiculous.

Your little Heath Ledger wannabe act isn't fooling anyone you know? I know what you're trying to do. Problem is you're barking up the wrong tree. I'm not Harvey Dent, I don't have any demons to hide. You caught me by surprise and I let my guard down out of some misguided sense of sympathy for your plight. It won't happen again. I may well not be the most sane man on the planet, but I'm certainly ahead of you by a hop, skip, and a mile.


As for the rest of it. Am I hiding things from people? Am I wearing a mask? Tch... Perhaps you could call it that. I'm certainly withholding information about myself, but I believe we've been over that haven't we? No names, no locations, no dates, no family history, no where did I work, nothing personally identifying. I'm getting along well enough with Proxies, but that doesn't mean I want them carrying around my personal information. I've got one chance of survival out here and I'm not about to go shooting myself in the foot.

I made my last post to try and let people get to know me better. To try and explain where I'm coming from. Did I leave things out? Of course I did! What? What do you want? My life's fucking story? It's not very interesting. Just another sap story in a long line of sap stories that you've all heard before. Why should I be so special?

I just don't really like talking about myself, okay? What I think of myself probably doesn't translate into what others think about me anyways. Like, oh hey! I didn't mention that I'm a judgmental prick! Oh, because you already know that! You figured that one out all on your own. I didn't have to spell it out for you. Do you need me to explain WHY I'm a judgmental prick? Maybe I've just always been a judgmental prick. I'm being one right now aren't I? See? It's just natural.

Good grief, I was just trying to give people a chance to get to know me a little better. Nobody is really talking to me unless I make a big fuss over something. Maybe I'd just like to have a NORMAL conversation with someone for once? Is that so hard? No, no, I must be trying to "manipulate people" so that I can lure them into a deadly trap and stab them to death From My Hole In The Ground. Really??? Uuuggghh!


So, yeah, okay. I'm done with this one. I just... Uuuuugh... Headache. Some of you people are just Such a Headache. I'm done talking about myself, if you want to know something else about me then freaking ASK ME. Otherwise, I'm moving on to topics of actual relevance from here on out. I've wasted enough time on this.

Everyone Needs a Starting Point

Yup, Blogger hates me more now. Refreshing it doesn't work anymore. I'm going to have to start going back to regular bookmarks.

Anyways, I’m having trouble deciding where to start... I’ve been writing things up for a while now and any particular piece of the equation is of moderate relevance to any given passerby looking for information, but I can only make a post about one thing at a time and... Siiiiigh, lets just not even go back into complaining about “too much data.” I think we’ve covered that... So I think I’m gonna just roulette it, unless something relevant pops up along the way I could use as a “reply” of sorts to... liiiikes I did with Titles and MK-II. That would actually be convenient probably... as controversy seems to get me a lot of attention. Even if it’s mostly “I will punch you in the face” sort of attention... <.<;;

Anyhoo...
I suppose the best place to realistically start is with myself. I mean, I’ve talked a lot about my situation, but not so much about me. So who the fuck am I and why the fuck should you listen to me? I’m not even a runner, what the fuck do I know? Good Question. Let’s try to answer that.

Now, on the one hand, I’m basically your typical nerd. I’ve always been in to a lot of scifi and fantasy, which would make this situation a lot cooler in retrospect if it weren’t for the whole “going to be killed by a humanoid abomination” part. But at the same time, I’ve always been pretty well grounded in reality. I can tell my fantasy from my real life stuff basically... Or I thought I could... guess I’m not so sure now.

As such, I’ve always sort of believed in the possibility of certain things... ghosts, aliens, and similar such otherworldly things... but I’ve always done so from a skeptical perspective. I’m no die hard paranormal freak. I’m not going to jump at the slightest indication of “something weird” going on. I want hard evidence, damnit. (Which Onewinged was ever so “kind” to deliver to me.)

And I’ve always been fascinated by often overlooked areas of science that promote the possibility of living a more fantasy filled life than the mundane one I lived here on Earth. Space exploration and colonization was probably the biggest thing on my list of interests. It’s part of why I went into engineering... erm, that and I wanted to build giant robots. Because seriously... Mecha. Why do we not have this yet? I mean seriously. Seriously. Mecha. What the fuck does the Construct have against a twenty story tall walking behemoth with dual mounted gatlin cannons? Don’t tell me it’s not plausible! I’m an engineer damnit! I Will Tell You What CAN and Can Not be Built!

I wonder if we had orbital space colonies scattered throughout the Lagrange Points already... if the Construct would be able to reach them? Or if he’d be shit out of luck? Certainly that’s high enough to classify as the pen-ultimate “Get Up High” location, right? Can’t perceive me up here, Bitch! Ha, haaa!

Hmm... seem to be getting off topic though. Kind of. I mean, I guess between this and everything else, my personality must have become pretty apparent, right? Which is to say it flies all over the place I guess... Consistency. Who needs it?

I guess the point of all this though is to explain that, I’m smarter than I generally make myself look. I’m heavy into fantasy, but I know where to draw the line. And I prefer to maintain logical reality based standpoints, even if I stretch it a bit here and there for the sake of theorizing.

I know I’ll never have his reputation, but if I’m going to start laying out thoughts and beliefs about this thing, then I’d rather do it from the kind of perspective Zeke Strahm and perhaps Jay(Sage) [So we’re clear on which “Jay” here.] would take, over the kind of perspective that Robert Sagel would take. Have to stay as closely rooted to reality (as we know it) as possible. The farther into crazy town and/or magic land you reach, the less credible your arguments become because normal people can’t replicate your bullshit. So I’m going to use what sanity I still have to try and spread my “gospel” with an air of reason. There’s probably still be plenty of “hokey mumbo jumbo” popping up in it, but when you’re dealing with supernatural forces that really just can not be helped sometimes.

And just to clear the air about it, though I mention and will defend aspects of it from time to time, I’m not a follower of “Core Theory.” I admire Robert Sagel, but I do believe his High Concepts were flawed. Additionally, I respect those carrying the Title of Sage not because of the Title’s connection to Core Theory or the aspects there of, but because of what the Title of Sage means to Me, from My Perspective (which I’ll get into another day). And more importantly, because those who carry the Title of Sage where highly respectable survivors long before anyone decided to pass the name on to them and would be every bit as deserving of my respect with or without their Title.

So... I guess that’s more or less the kind of thing you should expect from me in the days to come. We’ll see how it goes...

More important topics next time, I swear.

Unfamiliar Ceiling

Well, this is definitely going to take some getting used to. I’ve never slept well on the first night in a new place. Gets easier with time... but then most times I’m adjusting to an actual bed, not some shitty cot I scored on the cheap at an army surplus. Beats sleeping on the floor though, so I guess I shouldn’t be complaining.

Anyways, guess I should pick up from yesterday.

I’m still doing a lot of reading. This whole thing kind of got dumped on me all spur of the moment, so I haven’t really had a lot of time to prepare here. Most of what I’ve been going by are notes from ...ahh... a friend. Let’s call him “Onewinged.” I think he’d like that...

Um, sorry, moving along then... I’ve been going through all of the reference material I got from him, but there’s a freaking ton of it and all full of links to blogs and vlogs. I’m not a speed reader folks, so even with all the time in the world this is gonna take me a while, but I’m moving as fast as I can. It’s an awful lot of information to try absorbing all at once, you know? I think I’ve got a lot of the basics down though, so that’s a good start. Might start commenting a few places in another day or so... assuming of course that the blogger is still ALIVE by the time I reach the end of their blog. That seems to be a rather troubling occurrence I keep running in to. Hopefully there are still plenty of you alive out there that I just haven’t stumbled across yet. Maybe I should do a little more cross examining through the comments section of some of these things.

But that’s what I’m doing, not who I am or where I am, so I guess I’m not doing a very good job of this whole explaining thing, huh? My apologies. I ramble on at times.

I called myself The Gargoyle in my previous posting. It’s a name I felt appropriate given my situation. A name which, alongside the little blurb I made along with it, in retrospect, makes me sound like one of these “Proxy” people, given how closely the description could mirror “Him.” I’d like to take the moment to assure you that this is not the case. In fact, I’ve never actually even seen the thing. The amount of time I’ve spent knowing about him could be approximated at thereabouts 24 hours. As such, for me to be leaping so deep into the thick of all this probably sounds like an incredibly stupid idea. To which I must say... Yes. Yes, it most certainly is. But I don’t think I really have much of a choice in the matter at this point. I have Onewinged to blame for that. But we can get into that later... I’d... really rather not talk about him right now.

The name ties in to where I am, so I suppose that’s next and it’s a doozy, so hang on tight. At this very moment, I am basically sitting in a small hole, several feet underground, in the middle of fucking nowhere... in the Woods. Clearly a brilliant place to hide, I know. [/Heavy Sarcasm] Bear with me though, it gets better. This place is essentially an old Cold War fallout shelter, abandoned by the owners several years ago. Several feet of reinforced concrete, itself buried under quite a few layers of dirt and rock, the only entrance a heavy steel door cleverly concealed within the side of a hill. Was quite run down when we found it, but I’ve been spending several months now refurbishing the place, for purposes I was not immediately aware of. It’s lucky that I wasn’t though, else I wouldn’t have had the chance to stockpile the thing so well with non-perishable food-stuffs and other basic necessities. Because now that the door is sealed shut, so I can’t exactly go out for pizza...

I think I’ll survive though. For a while at least. I have the advantage of being unmarked by The Tall One. That should by me more than enough time to complete my research and get to work helping as many people as possible before I stumble on to his radar. And even then, with the secretive nature of my location, hidden from any means of view, I’m hoping it will take him quite a while to find his way to me. That’s essentially my gambit anyways... I’ll try to explain it better over time.

I think that’s about enough expository monologuing for one day though. I’m assuming you have other blogs to read, places to go, people to see, Eldritch Abominations to not get tentacle raped by... Things of this nature.

Be seeing you.

Systems Online

Gotta make it light.

Seems strange to be following the advice of a dead man. But then again, I suppose humanity lives and acts by the words of dead men every day. So perhaps it isn't so foolish after all.

Not that I mind it anyways. I prefer the lighter colors. The darker shades are just... depressing.

I thought about adding some grays I guess but... I think I'm going to be staring at quite enough gray for a while thank you. So we'll just stick with the blue. Blue is nice... I like blue.

Christ, where am I going with this?

I guess introductions and everything are in order. I've got a lot of explaining to do, but I think I'll just keep everything short and simple for now. It took me well over half the day to get the rest of this shit up and running, and frankly I'm exhausted. So I'll just save the big long spill about where I am and what I’m doing for tomorrow. The sooner I'm curled up in the corner and unconscious, the better. My eyes are burning from staring at this damn screen all day...

Let's cut right to the chase then. This is another one of THOSE blogs. Meant for those people who know of Him or are soon to know Him. To be used as a guidepost and, if you're willing, a communications hub... intended to unite those who fight against Him. The impossible entity which we have chosen to call "The Slender Man."

As for myself, I am The Gargoyle.

Ever watching, Ever waiting.

A solitary Guardian, through Darkness and Light.