Aug 21, 2012

Earn Your Happy Ending...

I've been sitting around here for a while now trying to come up with something to post about. Some nugget of wisdom I could share or theory to lay out on the table. But nothing has really been coming up. Not sure if I got all jaded and burned myself out or... if there's just nothing left to talk about. So I guess I just figured I'd shut up and spare you all the trouble of reading my bullshit for a while. But I guess I'm finally feeling inspired or something at the moment. Funny how some things time themselves...

Anyways, my title topic here is pretty self explanatory... but not all that easy to pull off. A few have managed it though. Most died in the process, but they felt justified or fulfilled in the end, so it was all worth it, right? A few made it out alive though... a few.

Michael Henry Abner got out. Saved a scared little girl in the process too. But he also lost everything he knew and every friend he had. Hell of a sacrifice...

Sufjan McBride escaped the tall man’s wrath. He’s living the good life, free of its grasp now. Granted, he’s now also part of a crazy evil religious cult (not a Slender one) that brainwashed him, but... hey, at least he’s happy and unstalked. Count your blessings right?

Celeste McLachlan made it out... not sure how she really managed it. But maybe Zeke can actually lay claim to at least one lasting victory in all of this for it. Assuming she doesn't do anything to screw it up anyhow. Maybe Mary really made it out too, once it was over.

The Delmontes found their way out as well. Took em a while... and they didn’t escape without casualties. But Cynthia and Tony are somewhere far away from this now. Heh… even got new friends and family with them. Who’d have thunk it?

Leon Steel... if he’s to be believed and I’m not misreading, took his bow off the stage. The tall man has no control over him now, assuming it ever did to begin with. But he left quite the pile of dead loved ones in his wake. Maybe someone will bring some closure to Spencer’s mess for him one day...

I don’t know. It’s never easy. It’s a blood stained path of psychological trauma. Nobody gets out clean. Maybe the dead ones are the real lucky ones? But one thing is for certain, if you want to leave this world with a smile on your face... then you’ve got to work for it. You’ve got to face your fears. There is no running away. Not in the end.

I... I spent a lot of time... standing on the ledge of rooftops... just staring down and screaming at myself in my head... “Jump. Jump!” But I could never do it. Told myself it was him. He wouldn’t let me kill myself. It wasn’t time yet. He would stop me. I had no control.

...but that was a coward talking.

That was me lying to myself because I was too afraid to take the plunge. Too afraid of dying. In spite of all the times I told myself I wasn’t. It was just easier to blame something else. But the fact of the matter, is that I was always in control. I chose not to jump. I chose not to face that fear. And I kept running.

Well I’m not running anymore. It’s time to face it. I may still be afraid... but I know I’m the one in control. And I can fight it.

I never told anyone... but that day long ago... out in the park with the stupid water gun. When he “hit” me. There was this huge gash in my shirt... ripped clean through... and burned around the edges. Sliced as cleanly as the gun had been. But there wasn’t a damned scratch on me. Barely even a bruise, if that.

Since the first bunker, when I started preparing myself for the outside. For the conflict. I held on to one simple notion. “You. Can’t. Hurt. Me.” And applied it via my theory of Perception is Key. Just one belief. Focused on it. Built up all my defenses around it. No other influences or add-ons. Start small. Put every effort into it. Truly believe in it. Reject any other notion to the contrary.

And so far I’ve been right. It’s like I said a few weeks back. Every injury I’ve sustained has been dealt by my own hand. The only time he ever really got inside my head was when I lowered my defenses on purpose... to prove a point, in some stupid fit of depression. It can’t really hurt me. I won’t let it.

It's all psychological. Perception is still Key. Perception is ALWAYS Key.

So enough beating around the bush with this “final lesson” bullshit... He’s here. He’s been standing outside the door for the last three hours straight. And he can keep waiting. Cause I’ve still got shit to take care of over here. We’re working off my schedule now you skinny bitch. Get used to it.

1 comment:

  1. Heh heh heh...

    Catch you on the OtherSide, Gargomel. Keep it frosty.


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