Mar 12, 2012

Operation Brony Phase One

What, you thought I was joking? Hells no. We are doing this. I already have results! ...sort of.

So I wandered around town earlier today, sticking within the crowds until finally I see him. And just as every other time I've had this sort of encounter, nobody seems to notice him. This will never cease to fascinate me. In any event, this is as good an opportunity as any so... I dug into my backpack and retrieved Twilight Sparkle.

I steadily approached the Construct, pony in hand. I started to throw it at him, but I stopped myself. "No. We're going to do this Right." I told myself and continued forward. So now I'm standing like a foot or two away from this thing, holding up a tiny plastic animal like it's a gods damned holy cross and just waiting for something to happen like a complete idiot. Just standing there like, "Here, take it."

....and he did.

I'm pretty sure it took me a moment to register this fact. I'm sensing a pattern here somewhere with that. But yeah, he took it right out of my hand. Just like that. And now he's standing there, holding it in his hand, "looking" at it. Which I took as a good time to slowly back away from him while I observed his reaction. Which I suppose I would describe as "generally neutral" as he turned the thing this way and that, like he was studying it as closely as I was studying him.

And then I bumped into some idiot on his phone and got distracted because he was all "Hey, watch it!" and I was all "Oh, Sorry! Sorry! My bad!" and by the time I look back over... it was gone. Just "Zoop!" vanished. I ran back over to check and... no sign of Twilight Sparkle either. So... I guess he took it with him. Which is... interesting. Though not exactly conclusive of anything. Other than they definitely do not repel him. I mean, maybe you could say because he disappeared right after but... no, because he took it with him. So, yeah... results inconclusive. Let me try something else...

18 comments:

  1. You should check the local parks and see if you can't find the child he gave your toy to.

    P.S.
    Still hilarious.

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  2. When this is all over some proxy or runner will open up a closet somewhere and die by avalanche of slendy's collectibles. "Death by bulimic closet"

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  3. I think he went to put it on his mantle in the Path of Black Leaves. And now he wants the rest.

    On the other hand, perhaps he just really identifies with Twilight Sparkle. She has shown a propensity for going insane. I mean, she tried to stop time itself and ended up performing a stable time loop and knows about Lorentzian stable timelike curves. (Ha, talk about that being a kid's show. Yeah, how many kids know about timelike curves.)

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  4. Well...... Okay... awesome, Slenderman's a Bronie....

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    Replies
    1. Not necessarily. He could just be interested by the fact that Gargoyle was stupid enough to approach him with a child's toy.

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  5. Maybe you shoul see if diffrent ponies provoke diffrent reactions. Because hey, it didn't kill you the first time, and it made my day.

    See you around
    - Cage

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  6. I am still completely lost on this my little pony craze people keep talking about.

    But, you didn't die doing this so I guess that's something.

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  7. Emily still thinks you're a dumbass. I'm inclined to agree.

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    Replies
    1. Number of times the Slender Man has been confronted with a pony: 1.
      Number of deaths due to aforesaid pony confrontation: 0.

      I'd say that the Gargoyle is ahead of the curve. The silliest ideas may produce the best results.

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    2. And yet he's not dead Elaine....

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  8. Did I just seriously read this?
    Is this ACTUALLY happening?
    I... Just... Fuck everything.

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  9. I knew this was so crazy it had to work!

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  10. Hey, where have you been staying lately? I'm short on cash, and it'd help to know what other people have been doing for shelter.

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  11. These results are surprising. Be careful if you plan to repeat your test. The monster may not be so gentle next time.
    S

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  12. The Anorexic One WOULD run off to play with ponies, wouldn't he? Smug bastard.

    -J

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