Operation Brony Phase Two

This may have happened a day or two ago, but I postponed posting it because I tried involving myself in something and that kind of upset the tone of things to just follow seriousness immediately with stupid, so... gave it another day. I'm not sitting on this forever though, so lets just get this out of the way already...

I decided to take a more distanced approach this time. I staked out another nice park with a healthy woodland backdrop and a few tall-ish buildings nearby I could observe the place from. Like previous experiments, I waited around a day or two to see if he'd actually show up in the area before commencing with the experiment. Like before, it was only a matter of time. So I set up shop and prepared for phase two.

Now, I'll admit, I haven't been entirely sure how to approach this dumbass idea of mine from the start so this wasn't the brightest move perhaps, but at least it seemed smarter than the "walk up and hand him a doll" idea. So, the working theory here was that I would set up a pony figure out in the park near to location I last saw him manifest during the previous day, then observe from the rooftops through binoculars (which are fucking expensive by the way... I had to get a cheap ass toy pair and they SUCK... gotta remind myself to look for some in pawn shops or something later) and see if the Construct would take notice of it upon his inevitable return.

So half the day goes by with me lounging on a rooftop staring out at the tree line, back and forth between it and Applejack, waiting for this thing to show up again. Sometime around the point where I was explaining to myself mentally how fucking stupid this whole idea was for the fiftieth time, I felt something that I can only really describe as a "pressure." It was just sort of a feeling, you know? Something not right. So I close my eyes and start swearing under my breath before slowly opening them again and rolling on to my side so I can look behind myself.

Aaaand there he was. With Me. On the fucking rooftop. Standing there behind me, holding one of the other ponies I had laid out back there... because I "might" have gotten bored and started playing with them at some point... Shut up... and just kind of looking at it like I'd seem him do before. Being in kind of a terrible position, I just sort of laid there, staring at him and not making a sound. After a moment or two, he seemed to "look" up enough to indicate that he noticed that I had noticed him. Upon which, he causally set the pony back down and promptly disappeared.


.....yeah, I think I'm done with this one for the time being. These up close and personal moments we've been having with one another, though sweet of him, are really starting to unnerve me in ways that I've been careful not to fully detail while making these reports. I think I would like some "me time" for a bit. So I am packing up my ponies and getting the fuck out of dodge and back on some HIGHER freaking rooftops.

Operation Brony Phase One

What, you thought I was joking? Hells no. We are doing this. I already have results! ...sort of.

So I wandered around town earlier today, sticking within the crowds until finally I see him. And just as every other time I've had this sort of encounter, nobody seems to notice him. This will never cease to fascinate me. In any event, this is as good an opportunity as any so... I dug into my backpack and retrieved Twilight Sparkle.

I steadily approached the Construct, pony in hand. I started to throw it at him, but I stopped myself. "No. We're going to do this Right." I told myself and continued forward. So now I'm standing like a foot or two away from this thing, holding up a tiny plastic animal like it's a gods damned holy cross and just waiting for something to happen like a complete idiot. Just standing there like, "Here, take it."

....and he did.

I'm pretty sure it took me a moment to register this fact. I'm sensing a pattern here somewhere with that. But yeah, he took it right out of my hand. Just like that. And now he's standing there, holding it in his hand, "looking" at it. Which I took as a good time to slowly back away from him while I observed his reaction. Which I suppose I would describe as "generally neutral" as he turned the thing this way and that, like he was studying it as closely as I was studying him.

And then I bumped into some idiot on his phone and got distracted because he was all "Hey, watch it!" and I was all "Oh, Sorry! Sorry! My bad!" and by the time I look back over... it was gone. Just "Zoop!" vanished. I ran back over to check and... no sign of Twilight Sparkle either. So... I guess he took it with him. Which is... interesting. Though not exactly conclusive of anything. Other than they definitely do not repel him. I mean, maybe you could say because he disappeared right after but... no, because he took it with him. So, yeah... results inconclusive. Let me try something else...

In which I attempt to emulate a Jester

Well, I tried a logical seeming experiment(disguising as Redlight), a risky but theoretically sound experiment(Super Soakers are fun), and now I'm thinking it's about time I try something ridiculously stupid... for kicks. Because why the hell not? It's not like I can honestly make myself that much more fucked than I already am, so screw it, let's be crazy.

Going under the assumption that the Construct is a memetic entity, bound subconsciously by rules set by the memes and other nonsense surrounding him, then theoretically he could be affected by exploitation of said memes. This is pretty much old news and we've been over tulpa being pretty much nonsense before, but we're being irrational right now, so lets just take a whack at this pinata again and see if anything new falls out. Now I could just do the old $20 gag, but I feel like I'd be stealing someone else's gig by doing that, so we're going to take things a step further into the inner realms of 4chan and hit this fucker with the most powerful element of uncontrolled madness I can think of.

So I've started walking around with a set of My Little Pony figurines and wearing a Friendship is Magic t-shirt everywhere I go. During my next encounter with the Construct, I intend to observe whether or not these ponies have any effect in either repelling or attracting it. Probably by throwing them at him, but I haven't quite decided on that yet. May have to wing it.

In any case, should the ponies prove effective in repelling it, then I would theorize that either the stronger meme does indeed possess the strength to counteract the weaker one... OR that the inherit symbolic properties of FRIENDSHIP contained within the figurines is enough of a positive emotion surge that the negative influence of the Construct is overwhelmed. However, should they instead cause the Construct to become further attracted to myself, or the figurines themselves, then I must speculate that the Construct is a Closet Brony and that the key to defeating him lies in the production of a significant enough number of muffins. (I am now also carrying around a small supply of emergency muffins.)

In the event that these ponies have absolutely no identifiable effect on the Construct, then I shall deem this experiment a total failure... though not necessarily a waste of time. As I will have most certainly gotten a great deal of amusement out of the testing procedures. And provided I escape with my life, that's good enough for me. A barrel of laughs for us all.


...however, I have decided that I am keeping Rainbow Dash.
Don't judge me.