Mar 9, 2012

In which I attempt to emulate a Jester

Well, I tried a logical seeming experiment(disguising as Redlight), a risky but theoretically sound experiment(Super Soakers are fun), and now I'm thinking it's about time I try something ridiculously stupid... for kicks. Because why the hell not? It's not like I can honestly make myself that much more fucked than I already am, so screw it, let's be crazy.

Going under the assumption that the Construct is a memetic entity, bound subconsciously by rules set by the memes and other nonsense surrounding him, then theoretically he could be affected by exploitation of said memes. This is pretty much old news and we've been over tulpa being pretty much nonsense before, but we're being irrational right now, so lets just take a whack at this pinata again and see if anything new falls out. Now I could just do the old $20 gag, but I feel like I'd be stealing someone else's gig by doing that, so we're going to take things a step further into the inner realms of 4chan and hit this fucker with the most powerful element of uncontrolled madness I can think of.

So I've started walking around with a set of My Little Pony figurines and wearing a Friendship is Magic t-shirt everywhere I go. During my next encounter with the Construct, I intend to observe whether or not these ponies have any effect in either repelling or attracting it. Probably by throwing them at him, but I haven't quite decided on that yet. May have to wing it.

In any case, should the ponies prove effective in repelling it, then I would theorize that either the stronger meme does indeed possess the strength to counteract the weaker one... OR that the inherit symbolic properties of FRIENDSHIP contained within the figurines is enough of a positive emotion surge that the negative influence of the Construct is overwhelmed. However, should they instead cause the Construct to become further attracted to myself, or the figurines themselves, then I must speculate that the Construct is a Closet Brony and that the key to defeating him lies in the production of a significant enough number of muffins. (I am now also carrying around a small supply of emergency muffins.)

In the event that these ponies have absolutely no identifiable effect on the Construct, then I shall deem this experiment a total failure... though not necessarily a waste of time. As I will have most certainly gotten a great deal of amusement out of the testing procedures. And provided I escape with my life, that's good enough for me. A barrel of laughs for us all.


...however, I have decided that I am keeping Rainbow Dash.
Don't judge me.

46 comments:

  1. I must say that sounds fun
    -Manic

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just...

    I can't even.

    How is anyone even supposed to respond to this?

    ...

    I really hope it works somehow.

    See you around
    -Cage

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You made Cage stutter. This makes my day.

      Delete
  3. You survived the super soaker incident and now are trying again with ponies and other things....I honestly want to see how far this can go before it snaps for the last time xD

    ReplyDelete
  4. Where do you keep getting money to buy toys to have broken by the master?
    Is someone actually sponsoring your hilarious endeavor?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would completely sponsor this.

      Delete
    2. I'd be more willing to agree with you guys if he believed in his own experiment.
      But he doesn't. He said as much.

      Delete
    3. Even then I'd still only be funding him on the grounds that it's hilarious and I enjoy a good laugh.

      Delete
    4. Hell, Runners and Proxies alike would fund someone being stupid enough to act like a Brony in public. Easy to spot, easy to kill, am I right?

      But no, really, the old five finger discount works woooooooonders.

      Delete
  5. This does not seem like a safe experiment. Nor does it seem likely to succeed. Is it wise to continue such a dangerous activity purely for amusement?
    S

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is it wise to continue such a dangerous activity purely for amusement?
      Why else would one engage in any dangerous activity besides amusement? In any case, in my opinion: yes.

      Delete
  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  7. ...What?
    Gargoyle, did you suffer from any kind of brain injury while I was gone?
    I mean... do you SERIOUSLY think this will work? You do realize how STUPID this is, don't you? Because it's REALLY fucking stupid. I mean, GOD...

    You know what? Fuck it. If you wanna kill yourself, you might as well go out with a laugh. Wish you luck and if you survive (which I doubt), keep updated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If smart plans do not work, why not try plans set in stupidity? Are they really that more dangerous than others?

      Delete
    2. I'm sorry, I must have missed the smart plan. All I saw was a super soaker and ponies...

      ...Seriously, was there a smart plan? I haven't read all of the posts yet...

      Can you link me to it?

      Delete
    3. I believe I was referring to all the smart plans that others have come up with (e.g. the Winter solstice, the Core Theory, whatever the hell Robert Sagel tried to do) that all failed. If those theories failed, why not try a little absurdity? Or a lot of absurdity?

      Delete
    4. Because absurdity gets you killed?

      I mean, while we're being absurd *coughcoughstupidcough* why don't we just all try to hug slenderman? Maybe he just wants some LOVE. That sounds as well fucking thought as this plan!

      Delete
    5. Because absurdity gets you killed?
      Everything can get you killed. Smoking kills and millions still do it.

      As for hugging the Slender Man: perhaps. You never know until you try. And if you try and fail, well, then we know.

      And, as GI Joe said so eloquently, knowing is half the battle.

      Delete
    6. You're honestly discouraging this? If he hugs the Slender man, I'm throwing a bucket of Periwinkle on him. Not because it jumps the shark. But because we all know he doesn't like hugs, only bribery of money. Where do you think the 20 dollas gag came from?

      Delete
  8. ... My six year old read this over my shoulder and started laughing. Maybe you should rethink this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or perhaps you should listen more to your six year old.

      Delete
    2. That's supposed to be a pretty brainy six year old. I can't imagine she isn't siding with Elaine.

      Delete
    3. That might tell us more about your lack of imagination, then the smartness of the six-year-old.

      Delete
    4. She started laughing because it obviously wouldn't work. She thought it was a joke, that no adult could be that stupid.

      Delete
    5. Well, that's a disappointment. And here I thought she was smart. Of course there are adults that stupid. Has she never been exposed to reality television?

      Delete
    6. I try to keep her away from TV, mostly. She doesn't really have an interest anyway. And it wasn't so much that she didn't think anyone could be that stupid as she didn't think someone I'd respect would be that stupid.

      Delete
    7. If you respect him, can you not trust him? Why assume this is stupidity instead of genius then?

      Sometimes it's hard to think outside the box. But it's always what we need.

      Delete
    8. Here's a serious out of the box thought for you.
      Drink a gallon of lighter fluid and then swallow a match. You'll never see the slenderman again. In fact you won't have to worry about anything ever again after that.

      Delete
    9. Oh but be sure to light the match. That's important.

      Delete
    10. Ah, "fire that's closest kept burns most of all." What a wonderful idea. Except, here, let me improve upon it for you: I shall keep a mouthful of lighter fluid, then light a match, then blow the fluid into your face.

      I am not a moron. I know you are sardonic when I am sincere. But here, why not try another quote: "Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."

      That's Einstein, by the way.

      Delete
    11. "So pleased with ourselves for using so many verbs and nouns."

      -Modest Mouse

      Delete
    12. "You move your mouth
      You shake your tongue
      You vibrate my eardrums off
      You're saying words
      But you know I ain't listening"

      - Modest Mouse

      Delete
    13. Glad we could reach an understanding.

      Delete
    14. The understanding being that we hate each other, correct? Just to be clear.

      Delete
    15. As the unoffical scorekeeper for the troll-offs I have to give this round to The Skeptic. Well done to both parties, and good luck at the championship.

      See you around
      -Cage

      Delete
    16. Thank you. I will try to resist saying "You like me, you really like me."

      Delete
    17. No hate. I think we both have good points here. I'm a jerk and you... should talk less? I dont know.
      Either way,
      May you find your fight and may you have a beautiful death.
      Or in your words, "Go and dree your weird."

      Oh and I want a new scorekeeper. I really felt I should have won that one.

      Delete
    18. It was a close call, and to be perfectly fair The Skeptic had the advantage of commenting first and more frequently against Elaine. However there will no doubt be plenty of other oppurtunities to show off your trolling abilities.

      See you around
      -Cage

      Delete
    19. There are always opportunities for trolling. It's not like any of us take ourselves seriously here.. oh wait. Some of you actually think you're getting out of this alive. Whoops! My bad. Continue on.

      Delete
  9. I applaud your efforts and congratulate you on doing something original. I hope it works, but in case it doesn't: I salute you.

    Go and dree your weird.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Yjod od dp vtsxu oy jsd yp eptl!

    ReplyDelete
  11. So assuming Slendy Doesn't cave your skull in, we'll get the results from this in a couple days then?

    ReplyDelete
  12. To be fair.

    Everyone thought that old Maduin guy was crazy with his ideas and they for the most part worked out okay from what I've read.

    Although...didn't he get some sort of bond forged after the $20.

    It's...gonna be really disturbing if you get some kind of connection with Slender Man via THIS.

    Really, really disturbing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If Gargoyle wakes up with a MLP staring at him from his bedside, then we know there is something to worry about.

      Delete
  13. OK. Obviously really late to the party here, but I must say: this plan is amazing. You are my hero.

    -M

    How the FUCK are you not dead yet!?

    -J

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.