Jan 12, 2012

I'm too lazy to hold that many conversations at once

Okay, so, Dia had a field day apparently. XD
I was going to go through, read them all, then reply individually to the points I felt still mattered, but then I'd have to continue bouncing around through those older pages when/if she replies to them and... yeah, we're not doing that. So I'm just making a new post dedicated to responding to her, give myself some more time to hammer out my big theory post, and everybody's fucking happy, so awaaaaaaaaay we go!

Alright, basically I think what I'm gonna do here is throw up the post title and then respond to what's there. If I've nothing to really say, then I'll skip that one... so we know I didn't skip any on purpose. This all being the case, unless you're really that interested in listening to me ramble for as long as this will probably last, then I'd probably say this one is for Dia and you can skip it. I'll highlight if I think it's remotely important to anyone else...

-Systems Online
Nice to meet you as well. My name, for all intents and purposes, is The Gargoyle, but I respond to various other nicknames which I appear to have been accumulating as of late, so feel free to experiment with that.

-Better Days
I somewhat have to believe in coincidences though, in the same way I believe in chance. Because at the end of the day, those are all mathematical equations. And math generally doesn't lie... unless you do it wrong.

-Storytime with Gargoyle
Might have been Jekyll... I seem to recall him proposing similar theory at least. But going with that concept, my thoughts on everything relating to perception would seem to hold true.

Though, I imagine that ultimately we all die by our own words.

MRE's are most certainly not tasty. You get used to them after a while, but they're still crap. XD Wouldn't recommend them for anything other than quick and easy fuel when you're on the run, or something similar to my situation perhaps... I am exercising though. Probably not the best routine in a confined space, but with rare exceptions I'm getting it done daily.

-All Hallows Eve
Ah, the Black Shakes. The term was coined by an "internet celebrity" I used to listen to. Essentially, the onset of the illness was the result of the individual in question spending the majority of his time every day in front of a computer screen. Constantly refreshing pages, constantly looking for updates. Caring for basic necessities and then back in front of the monitor. He was getting maybe six hours of sleep a day. And this continued for weeks, if not months on end. Inevitably, the constant stimulation resulted in a form of system overload and he became horribly ill. The primary symptom being an uncontrollable shaking, in addition to dizziness, nausea, and some mild degree of hallucination. He had to completely disconnect himself from the internet for several weeks before he was able to even look at a computer screen without becoming dizzy.

In my attempt to become a digital incarnation of the Gargoyle, the requirement to be constantly wired in to the internet, always online, always watching... would have put me at very high risk of contracting such an illness. So I attempted to avert this through moderation. However, looking back now in retrospect, it is entirely possible to suggest that my breakdown and illness were symptoms of the condition. Yet another reason why I've been trying more lately to disconnect myself from this as much as possible. I would prefer not to suffer another repeat of that episode.

We could be living in magical pony paradise and people would still find things to complain about. Human nature. But yeah, the extremes sometimes are fantastic... Facepalm away.

-Book of Secrets
I haven't really had any interesting or revealing dreams since then though. Still not sure what I think about that one. But without anything else of significance popping up, I can't help but call it a fluke. Should that change however, I will keep people informed. But only if it's substantial enough to warrant mention... because I'm pretty sure for a very brief moment last night that I dreamed I was playing Civ 5 against The Messenger, but I really don't consider something stupid like that to an important topic of discussion, do you?

-Overwhelming Data
Well, any publicity is good publicity, technically. I'd prefer not to be drawing crowds purely for the sake of seeing my next violent explosion of words. But hey, whatever it takes to grab people's attention, right?

-It's Hot
I managed at least two of those things...

-Right... So, Hello again
The fumes dissipated a lot quicker than I thought, but they did hang around for most of that particular day... if I'm recalling it correctly anyways. There were chemical fumes in the air... XP

-I miss out on all the fun stuff
People seem to have an amazing capacity to ignore certain aspects of a person. Like, most people are really good at ignoring that Micheal Jackson was (probably) a child molester. Sometimes fame and popularity... or just simple emotional attachment... can cause these subdued and otherwise unfathomable reactions.

The fact that we largely only converse with each other over the internet probably aids in allowing for that disconnect from reality. As there are several people I would probably see and approach in a very different light were I conversing and interacting with them in person.

-Blogger Hates Me
I like how you flipped your shit when you realized who that was... That was basically the same response I had, only more subdued because I haven't had any first person encounters like you appear to have had. I was going to tell you not to worry about that though because I'm pretty sure it's a non-issue again, but then I clicked on something and now I'm going to shut up about it forever. Moving on...

But I have amusing conflicts, yes... most of the time.

Clearing the Air...
I doubt I'll be coming after you or anyone else with a blade or fire. ...okay, maybe fire. But blades really aren't my style and frankly... I'm getting sick of hearing about them. I mean, knives, sure... easily concealable, silent but deadly... but god damnit it's 2012 and some of you people are walking around with swords! Unless you're carrying a sword that is composed of a cylindrical handle which projects a beam of high intensity laser death, then you are fighting with with weapons from a forgotten era in an age where people have GUNS. You do not bring a sword to a gun fight. This is not Final fucking Fantasy!

God, I heard even MK-II is running around with a sword... bitch, you'd better be carrying around some kind of badass fucking claymore or something because I swear if you're carrying around another one of those replica freaking katanas I am going to lose every point of potential respect I might have had for you. I am so tired of people going around like they're some kind of 1337 fucking ninja because they've got a katana. There's only like three people I've encountered who "might" actually know how to use a sword and the rest are just posers.

Hmmm... tangent aside...
It's not that I don't trust a few people enough to open the door for them. I have a lot of other reasons for not opening that door. But no, you're correct. I've exposed myself to this through my blog and I've been talking to a fair number of Proxies, it would be some kind of mOtHeR fUcKiNg MiRiCle for me to have not been noticed by now by the Construct. So I suppose the hope is that I haven't made myself interesting (or tasty) enough for him to care about me. Because I somehow doubt this is going to last much longer. One way or another.

But when and if that time comes, I think I'd prefer to get myself out of this mess then have anyone (Runner or Proxy) risking their ass to pull me out of here. If it's my time to go, it's my time to go. No sense in dragging anyone else down with me.

-Yer a wizard Harry
And lets not even get started on the concepts behind Australian Christmas...

-We're the same You and I
I'm blaming this on you FreedomCaged...
I'm totally blaming this on you.

-Bonne Wiley Sigma
What's happened here... is that I basically had the notion in my head, but I kept subconsciously changing the word without realizing it. I actually went back and edited some of those posts once to correct myself with the version of the word I had meant to be using. What you just found is one that I missed. The phrase has the same meaning either way, because it's basically the same word in different... tenses? I- ...I don't know. English is not my best subject. And I tend to think my words faster than I type them so I fuck things up sometimes and/or leave words out entirely.

-In memorium
Well, it IS a work of fiction after all. I've taken some liberties with it in that regard. I think it would be a moderately effective strategy if it were possible to organize it, but the Runners... they are a self-centered bunch. Typically preferring to do things their own way than attempt to act in actual collective unison.

...Maybe one day. XP

-Something Passed Over
As I noted in the Things That Go Bump in the Daylight post, it's very hard to spend any amount of time delving into this "mythos" and not see signs over other monsters. So yes, I acknowledge these things. You'd have to be a fool not to. You're being stalked by a tall man in a business suit with no face and tentacle arms, then you're going to tell me you don't believe in the big white naked dog thing with the scar face? How is that even a stretch at this point?

So yeah... "Fears," "Fossils," "PREs" ...a rose by any other name is still a rose... I acknowledge that there are monsters lurking in the shadows. In fact, one of my previously unstated theories revolves around the notion that we should be trying harder to make these things fight one another... and not just because that scene on the boat with Steward was so fucking awesome. These are all dangerous predators feeding off the same prey. Logic suggests they should be at each other's throats more often... not hanging around chatting with one another like the Eldritch Legion of Doom. Provoking these things into conflict with one another is would probably be one of the most singularly effective means of killing them we have. But good luck manipulating the great manipulators I guess... XP

-Providing Solutions
This one is actually for Schadenfreund, but yeah, I'm aware of that safe-house. Given it's a recent establishment however, quickly filling fast, and put together by a former "big name" Proxy... I'd have to admit I'm skeptical about it's future. I think I've seen how that particular story ends... but we'll see.

Additionally, there are the sanctuaries provided by Eden's East. Sounds like they're doing well enough for the time being. FreedomCaged provided a nice outsider's perspective of the one of them just recently that revealed a bit more substantial information about them. Promising so far.

Seems like there was a Hospital or something at one time that served a similar function as well... can't say I stayed very caught up on that one though so... dunno.

...Is that all of them?
Oh thank god. XD
And... yeah... don't think that I've missed while looking back over those old posts that... I seemed more sane and together in the early stages than I am now. That's... a little bothersome... but probably to be expected, so... fuck it. We're done here.


  1. One of the problems with pitting Them against each other . . . well it's like solving your neighborhoods problem with the Crips by getting some Bloods to come in and kick their asses. It might eventually get rid of them but the collateral damage will be horrific and then you're left with a Bloods problem. What then? Bring in another gang the Bloods feud with and repeat the process? No. We need to figure out how HUMANS can handle this problem on our own.

  2. I doubt they ever will be able to, unless you "ascend" or some bullshit like that.

  3. A post dedicated to Dia.

    She's going to LOVE you.

    She truly is the only person I've come across who has succeeded in making me feel... like a sex object. Can't honestly decide if its demeaning or amusing, actually.

    Have fun.

  4. Actually, I'm somewhat relieved. A friend of mine sent me a message telling me I have a post devoted to me, and I.. well, somewhat panicked. I was expecting a post demonizing me, or railing against.. well, whatever you disagreed with. This, a simple responses post, is much simpler and easier to deal with. Let me see if I can respond, in order, to what the hell your responses make me think of. But first!

    Proxie/Paradoxical Machinations- They already ARE pitted against each other. They're like one big, fucked up eldritch abomination family that likes to argue and bicker. Just like any other, just add in The Game (not the meme version), lots of killing and torturing, and some random mindfuckery and rivalry. Believe it or not, it's not all that surprising. I used to write about them, and had plans to write about them quite a bit more. Those plans somewhat failed when my own personal bullshit and beliefs got in the way. One of these days, I'll have to start writing again. I've been bullshitting around with Free and a few others, and mentioned making a blog or two more since mine is such a mess that I can't get all my thoughts across.

    So much shit happens, and has happened, I can't keep it all straight. Is it a personal blog? One about the Fears? One dissecting the people and beliefs around me? Is it a place to come to for sanctuary and someone that won't judge you? Is it a place to come to rant and bitch and know I won't stab you in the face for it? I think it's a little bit of each, and that's what makes it so disorganized and hard to follow.

    Screamer, baby, I don't think you're a sex object. I certainly don't mean to demean you, unless that's the kind of thing you're into. Then feel free, we'll have fun all night long. ;) Oh wait. Sorry, I'm doing it again, aren't I? I suppose it's just the easiest way to tease people. So many are prudes, I started doing it just to fuck with people. Then it became second nature to do it with everyone. Oh, and sweetie? But if making you feel like a sex object is what gets to you.. I'll keep right on doing it. Otherwise, I'll just go back to normal philosophical bullshit, like more of my conversations these days.

    And now, time to respond to the actual post!

    1. Hence my analogy of bringing in the Bloods to take care of some Crips giving you trouble. Yes, They fight of their own accord often. That doesn't mean it's a good idea to try and solve your problems with Them by trying to *make* them fight.

  5. One, yes, you are a lazy fucker. It really isn't that hard to comment on each of them, considering that the comments are easily accessible, and you can change your settings to email you when I respond to you. Those emails bring you straight to the post in question, but alas, I would probably flood your inbox in a single night. Poor FreedomCaged.. his is probably screaming in agony by now. I plan on doing it again and again. Giggity.

    What are the other nicknames you might follow under? I enjoy finding out which ones other people come up with. Bitchstar, Screamer, and a few of KK's have always amused me. It just reminds me how creative we can all be when we want to. Maybe yours are amusing as well..?

    I think coincidences are just Fate's way of fucking with us. Kind of like watching a black cat run by twice, or deja vu. (Yes, I am blatantly referencing a movie. No, I don't give a fuck, my point still stands.) Math DOES lie. Zero is a quantity that technically does not exist as a number in a physical sense, yet it has to remain in equations as a placeholder. Also makes things make much more sense. Not to mention negative numbers, that's like having a negative amount in your bank account. You cannot hold a negative amount in your hand.

    We make our own enemies, our own villains, and our own ends. Every step we take leads up that much closer to the day we die. Often times, our beliefs and actions are literally what creates the situations that causes our pain and our happiness. You are never truly stagnant in this world. You breathe, you cough, you speak, you move. Butterfly effect, domino effect, ripples in the pond.. it all applies. It is impossible to keep from affect the world around you. We're naturally offensive, and selfish. It's how we're created, and it's encoded into our DNA. That said, it's, what, 97% of our DNA that is exactly the same as everyone else's? We're all a special little snowflake, just like all the others.

    The little packets that come with the MRE's are fun to set on fire. Then again, fire in your enclosed little space would probably be a bad idea.. Question, have the walls started closing in on you yet? Have you started getting a little.. cramped? Claustrophobic? I imagine you've broken a few things so far. I hope you know enough to fix them.

    I facepalm every time I read the comments on your posts. Then again, my comments/followers aren't exactly the most sane/agreeable types either. So I can't quite complain. I should, though, invest in some popcorn and chocolate for watching it all go down. you should sell tickets, I swear to it! Fun as hell to read through, but much more fun to see go down.

    You'd be surprised what winds up being important months later, doll, especially when it comes to dreams. The one I referenced as being the first, I thought it was my having a crush on a tattoo artist at first. Now, well.. dreams are a part of my everyday routine. I'd probably be dead (or one of my friends for that matter) if I didn't pay attention to them. I'm like a bitchy, perverted Oracle over here. And no, I don't fucking like it.

  6. My followers have come the most routinely when I'm either bitching, or just been tortured. Yes, I am aware how dangerously fucked up that is. I've been aware for months. It does however make it easier to slip certain information under the radar, when they think it's a relatively boring/unimportant post. The perceptive, however.. let's just say, thank god for emails. Certain details and facts about my life would have been made public much earlier if it weren't for the intelligent having some tact. Thank freaking god.

    Those fumes must have gotten you high as hell, doll. Or sick. Which was it?

    The lady has given me death threats, and become somewhere near immortal. She also has no problem considering me dead, or not worth a fuck. Put it all together with the fact that she does indeed know what I look like, and has a basic idea of where I live... BAD THINGS. LOTS OF THEM. What did you click on, by the way?

    "This is not Final fucking Fantasy." You win all the internetz for this. You do. So much.

    Australian Christmas? What the fuck?

    I'm going to make this a several part comment spree, I am NOT retyping all of this if Blogger hates me.

  7. You don't get to blame it on Free, unless you give a reason why. You stole my fucking shit!

    Maybe's are just a nice way of saying no, you know that? ^.^

    I had actually never heard of Eden's East until, well, Free started talking about them. Still not sure what to think of them, actually.

    A hospital? I honestly don't know what you're talking about. So many sanctuaries fail, it's hard to keep track of them unless they work long term.

    Sorry to spam your comments, doll, but consider this making up for lost time. I have been gone off and on for months, after all.

    You're losing your sanity. Don't be ashamed. It happens to, well, all of us.

  8. You do whatever you like, dearest. Wouldn't want to dull that 100-watt smile of yours, now would I? I'm not exactly easy to offend. Perhaps you could consider that a challenge in this little Game of the Never-Ending Hunt? But then again, you may not want to.

  9. An Eldritch Legion of Doom? I actually really like the sound of that, I'd love to be a member of such a group. Can I be Sinestro?

    Dia, I'm very off-put by this. You write a novel for Gargomel here, but you can't reply to my proposition of getting drinks that I made months ago? I thought we were better friends than that.

    Stay frosty.

  10. You and I aren't exactly on conflicting sides of the chessboard, dear, I have no reason to offend you. Give me a reason, maybe, and I'll think about it. We'll call it a date. <3

    Ridley, sweetheart, you told me to go fuck myself and that I was a psycho bitch, in not so many words. Then proceeded to ignore ME when I tried to be your fangirl. So who's being the hypocrite here? I'm very.. accommodating normally, but there's only so frosty a girl can get. That said.. apologize, and maybe I'll write a novel for you as well. <3

    -sighs- Why the HELL do I always get along better with the Proxies.. I swear to god, I feel like I'm on the wrong side of everything sometimes..

  11. Wait, you're blaming me for what? I looked back at the post and I still don't see where it's my fault. I mean, sure there are things you can pin on me, but is this really one of them?

    See you around

  12. He's just bullshitting so I won't be angry with him. Still trying to figure out why he did it to begin with. -.-

  13. God, I'm going to have to write a book again. XD Okay, here we go...

    *Comment1, Opening - Given my stint with Elaine a few weeks ago, that worry was probably justifiable. XD But I imagine something like that would be best left to someone with all of the dirt on you. I've just started brushing the surface.

    *Comment1, Paragraph2 - Oh good, I knew I'd seen them at odds on occasion, but it seemed almost rare. I hear more often about them showing up for parties or some shit than anything and a bunch of crazy powerful supernatural beings who stalk and kill people just standing around talking to one another is really weird.

    *Comment1, Paragraph3 - But the disorganization and madness is what makes it so much fun.

    *Comment2, Paragraph1 - I get comment emails for my own blog, but since I don't get them for other blogs I usually just make random checks through my dashboard(when it's fucking working) and then just refresh on occasion to check my own blog's latest few postings(assuming that's where new comments will show up). So since I'm utilizing the email so much, it doesn't occur to me to check it so often. And I guess typing up one big post where everyone could see it... because who really reads through the archives unless they're new? ...sounded like a better idea at the time, both from a logical and personal amusement standpoint.

  14. *Nicknames - Lets see... she of the ever changing name threw a bunch of them at me and I can't remember without looking them up so... that one's on you. Nightscream's been calling me Brooklyn, and KnitWolf has taken to calling me Mouse it seems(though I kind of walked right into that one). After that I'm drawing a blank, so I guess those two are the ones I like the most and anything else just doesn't come up often enough to strike a cord.

    *Math - An even more fun one is that despite any given calculator's insistance upon breaking when you do it... you CAN Divide by Zero. The results are about what you'd expect... and yet not. So surely math has it's oddities, but I would still hold that it does not lie. Merely occasionally confuse...

    *MREs - Well... you're not exactly supposed to set them on fire. ^.^; So I can't say I've experimented with that, no. And Nightscream has totally beaten you to that follow up question before. But to answer anyways, I'm pretty sure the room is the same dimension that it was when I got here. The closest things to psychotic episodes I've had down here generally haven't had much to do with the walls... Though I'd be lying to say that being down here for so long hasn't been wearing down on my psyche.

    *Dreams - I shall leave the dream oracling to the experts such as yourself then. I'm pretty sure mine usually consist of nothing more than videogame references and shit that doesn't make sense.

    *Fumes - Well I was already sick, so I don't think I'd have really noticed. Or if I did notice, I don't remember now because brain damage from inhaling chemical fumes or something, so fuck if I really know.

    *Australian Christmas - It's a Team Fortress 2 reference. According to their mythos, Ol' Nick spies on all the children of the world and then on Christmas he gives to all the good little boys and girls the greatest gift of all... not kidnapping them (and forcing them to work in his weapon making factories).

    *Blaming Free - Oh... I blamed him because we were poking fun about stealing each other's stuff, so I thought you were being sarcastic and joking around. If not however, I'd have to admit to not exactly having read much (IE- hardly any) of your blog by the time I started putting together my theories about Perception... so that's another one of those funny coincidences we keep running into because the Agent's are changing things.

    *Maybe - Maybe.

    *A hospital - Yeeeah... I'm not really sure myself. I was running through so many blogs for a while there that it all starts running together. I know there was a poster going by the name of Hospitaler or something like that, which I was under the impression was operating a sanctuary of some kind, but I could never quite tell for certain.

  15. Okay! And ignoring all of Dia's posts for a minute... Everyone else! XD
    Would've replied sooner but figured I should wait her out.

    @Proxiehunter - Somehow I can't imagine the collateral damage from two of those things fighting one another and managing to eliminate one in the process (and maybe two if we can then turn around and stab it to death while it's weakened from fighting something on it's own level) being any worse than the damage they would do if we just sat back and let them continue to do whatever they gods damned please. So I'm having a hard time writing that idea off. But certainly I would love a man-made method of defeating them just as well, but that research hasn't been very fruitful yet, so I'd be looking to explore other options.

    @Paradoxical - I'm not quite sure I'm familiar with this "ascending" bit... or to what specifically it was referencing to, so can't quite comment.

    @Ridley - Well, given you called him first, I don't see why not... but now I have to be all jealous of you.

    I think Gargomel is a new one... I guess I'm okay with that. My memory of the Smurfs though is pretty much shit, so I can't say if the reference fits.

    @Cage - Was a joke, explained somewhere above.

    Suddenly have a headache, brb, not giving a shit for the next couple of hours.

    1. What makes you thing They're any more capable of eliminating each other than we are? If They could I think one of Them would have by now, it would cut down competition in Their "Great Game".

      Which is probably another reason we don't want Them to try to off each other. I'm sure that whoever wins that "Game" we're the ones who lose.

  16. I wrote a novella. Just in responses. Dear god, you have a point about the headache. I went to sleep for.. an hour..? And came back to this. Fuck responding to this for a bit.

    -raises an eyebrow- I still say you have some explaining to do, but I'm about to go prune my blog entries by quite a bit. Not happy with having 60 posts. Oh no.

  17. Dia, my dear, I can honestly say that I have no clue what in hell you're referring to. But Uncle Riddles would never dream of offending you, madame, so I do apologize all the same. I would be most obliged if you could point this brother in the direction of these insults you claim to have been made. Thank you kindly.

    Stay frosty.

  18. I may or may not have been confusing you with Ferus. With something that just happened. I was... very, very tired at the time of this entry. >>;;

    Can I just apologize and stalk your blog when I'm done responding to the.. 20 emails in my inbox? ^.^

  19. Holy fucking hell, woman, walls of text are eye-raping. Wouldn't emails have been easier to handle than.. this?

  20. Still working my way through your blog, swords, yeah I agree, unless you know how to forge your own swords, or have a friend who knows how to forge swords, your wasting your time, but even a cheep as shit, over the internet, 20.00 bokken can get enough striking force behind a well crafted swing to crack ribs, or break someone's skull open.

    Hence my home defense tool of choice.

    Want to know why the Maori Warriors had been largely made of wood? because focused force with god damn end you regardless of the material.

    OH and a shotgun helps... sporting goods store's from what I understand... no waiting period last time I bothered to look.

    1. I once saw a group measure the impact of a guy bashing a test dummy in the head with one of those big round Spartan shields and the dude running the analysis said the measurements on the impact exceeded that of a typical car crash. So yeah... doesn't really matter if you're using a bladed instrument or not... strong enough force of impact with anything could be deadly. ^.^;

      hmm... and yeah, that might work... the forge thing... I mean, I can see you taking on the Construct with a sword. I mean, logic suggests fighting traditional monsters with traditional weapons... hence why even upon entering the age of shotguns and bazookas, the reigning Belmont descendant still goes after Dracula with a fucking whip. Because hey, that's what works, right? Xp But against a freaking Proxy? Hey, Indiana Jones carried more than a whip. Arm yourself to be tactical AND practical.


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