Jun 22, 2012

Readily Apparent

A human stalker... god fucking damnit, if that's not just what I needed now.

I don't know if this guy can hide himself like he was with my blog posts, but I'm not going around with the jammer running 24/7 trying to scope him out of a crowd. Or out of the corner of my eye, or what the fuck ever. I don't have the batteries for that shit. But Fine. Whatever. It's not like I wasn't already watching my back and feeling like there were "eyes" watching me everywhere I go to begin with, so I guess this isn't really anything new. Just feels that way I guess.

I think it's because with the Construct I at least know what I'm looking for...

Paranoia is a bitch.


It's keeping me focused though. Giving  me more time to really sort of think(or perhaps forcing me to). And at least one thing is really starting to stand out... I've been trying for so long to blot out whatever dreams and visions suddenly invade my head that I think I've been missing some things. Something important. Like... I don't know if it's something he was trying to show me... or if it's something that him being in my head just kind of... knocked loose. But I'm starting to see some things that are very definitely not from the tall man's perspective. It... wouldn't make sense if it was.

I mean, it's still first-person but... there's no deaths... no real insinuation of the Construct's presence... just... just what I assume is me and... people I know? Like, Onewinged is there and shit... so it's like... I don't know. I can't see the tall guy just sitting around chilling with a couple guys listening to them talk amongst themselves and everybody being cool about the fact that there's a humanoid abomination standing right next to them. So I'm pretty sure these are MY memories and not the Construct's, but...

It doesn't fit. It just doesn't fit.

Because I'm remembering us talking about the gods damned Construct and all of this other shit and it's just... I know that didn't happen. I didn't get involved till the bunker... and Onewinged never brought any of this stuff up with me before then, and certainly not in person, so...

and who the FUCK is this other guy I keep seeing that's always with us? I've never seen him before in my life. So where the fuck did this third person come


fucking- threes... always the fucking threes...
Are yOUtelliNgmE??!

Guh... okay... okay... no, stop... I've got this... next time this shit starts coming on, I'm just gonna keep my laptop open on standby or something, and I'm going to type this shit out as it comes, make sense of it all later. Maybe... maybe then I'll know what I'm dealing with here.


  1. uno, dos, tros,

    gota take matches as all arrive.

  2. Hn, interesting. You're just one riddle after another lately, aren't you? I must say, you're tempting me to free some time in my schedule. Drop by and give your psyche a once-over myself. Now, doesn't that sound like FUN?

    That being said... concerning your Conversation With Onewinged That Wasn't... it's not ALWAYS mindfuckery, darling. Think it through. There is, after all, one other way that our Father could possibly show you a scene playing through the eyes of someone... without that someone being Himself or you.

    On a semi-related note. His choice of... "teaching", shall we say, is rather fitting. The Gargoyle. "Forever watching."

    Just as He is.

    Father certainly has a humor all His own, doesn't he?

    1. Oh, fucKing-dreeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggg

      turn everything the fuck against me and just-

      Yup! Yup. Sounds fun. Lets do that. Therapy sounds a lot better than beating my head against this WALL. I'll drop you an address sometime when you're not busy and I feel like staying in one place.

  3. At this important interval I would like to remind you that you are getting what you asked for. I just feel the need to emphasize that.

    1. I just feel the need to kick you in the ass for saying that. Doesn't mean it's necessary. -.-

    2. It's important to learn from your mistakes. He's building momentum again and with all his excitement and confusion, I didn't want him to forget why he is in his current state.

  4. First off, in regards to the question directed at me in your last post, my new position has its positives as well as its negatives. Such is the way of the "Handler", no? And since it seems to be more a position than a title for me, it, of course, means that I do a lot of work. More than I did before, as if that was ever thought to be possible.

    Though the information I can now get my hands on regularly proves enlightening...

    And as for Moriarty? Depends on which side you're on, I suppose. Considering he seems to be directly targeting proxies and supporting runners at the same time...? Your guess is as good as mine.

    Though this "cure" talk is quite interesting...

  5. You could keep a physical journal as well? More portable, more reliable. Can't beat the classics.

  6. Though you seem to be having problems of your own.

    I was wondering if maybe you might be able to help me.

    Do you know of anyway to find him.

    I mean obviously there are a lot of ways to call him to you but I'd prefer finding him before he finds me.

    1. "I'm not a five-year-old. If I want to go in the cave and I want to die, that's my problem."

      That's the best I've got. And it's more or less confirmed to work... hence why people don't use it.

  7. Be careful, stone one. Sometimes when we find what we are looking for, it is not a good thing.

  8. Amnesia (noun): loss of memory, forgetfulness.

    Also, a side effect of our slender friend, Mister Gargoyle. I'd watch out. Sometimes a little (or a lot) of paranoia is good.


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