Wow... I picked a hell of a week to roll over and die, huh? Figures.
So, let me just touch on a few replies and stuff I wanted to make first, then I'll touch on the "big news" that I missed out on...
I suppose, firstly, that I want to apologize for exploding on a couple of people. I was not well at the time. Things were said, some of which I meant, some of which I probably didn't, all of which I'll touch on as it comes up. I'm not expecting everyone to just up and forgive me, because I was kind of being an ass and I likely deserve the scorn, so just know that I'm sorry about all that and I'll try to make it up to you if I can.
Shaun, I don't know if you're still mad at me or not. You dropped me a line after I collapsed that gave me the impression you at least cared a little so... thanks for that. And I'm honestly sorry if I offended you. I also realize the titles have been passed on, but I still identify you as a Sage, so that just kind of came out while I was ranting. I'm also sorry for bitching about M... was having a break down... but I hear you got in contact with him lately, so that's good to hear and I hope you guys finally manage to have that meet up you've been after. I'm... not going to apologize for Elaine though, but I'll get to that later. In any case, should the opportunity arise in the future for us to meet, if you still wanna deck me, then I'm not gonna hold that against you. Best of luck.
IKE, yooooouuuuu.... died or something? Your blog is gone. That kind of depresses me. But if you're reading, thanks for the support.
TMV, I'm not going to completely disagree with you, because you have a point. And it's kind of a good one I guess... but I still can't get behind that sort of sacrifice logically. It may be elegant and noble, but it's still stupid... and selfish... and not solving anything. But who am I deny someone a moments happiness amidst such a horror show? I just prefer endings that result in fewer dead people.
Oh, and yes, I could certainly use a hot chocolate... or a beer. Can someone magic me one of those please? Nick? <.<;
"Joseph" ....I don't know what the quotations are for. <.<;
And I'm not sure here, but I'm getting the distinct impression you were offering something. I could take a few guesses at what, but I'm not sure if I want to. I'm not expecting to have to leap down from my fence anytime soon... but in the event that changes... then I suppose "I'm listening." That's all I'll say for now.
Knit, well... I've got a sink. ^.^; And a toilet. And there is technically a drain in the floor over there. But not exactly a shower. I'd kill for an actual shower. ....Figuratively, of course.
And the best for last!
Why yes, I did happen to consider the consequences of what might happen if I got ridiculously ill while stuck in a hole in the ground and nobody knows where to find me. Kind of crossed my mind a few times. It's an unfortunate situation, but one I've got to deal with for as long as I remain in my present condition. Hopefully I'll be better prepared next time, but even if I had someone available to aid me, I doubt they'd be able to find this place easily and even then, they'd have little luck getting in. There "was" a wheel crank handle on the outside of the door which could unlock and be used to heave open the door, but I happened to notice a good while back that it could be removed if I twisted it the right way, so it's sort of sitting in the floor right across from me at the moment. Kind of fucked myself in that regard. But I can assure you, though I will perhaps one day reveal my location to someone I believe I can trust in the event of emergencies... given recent events, I stand relatively certain that the last person on EARTH that I would consider giving that information out to is YOU, Elaine.
And I hate to rile myself up again after all this, but holy hell did you ever ask for it. I mean, my god! No wonder you were so up my ass for complaining about people making "Deals with the Devil," you were smack dab in the middle of one yourself! The irony is so thick I'd need some kind of laser chainsaw to cut through it all. Of all the fucking things you could have done! And after all those people came to my blog to defend you! You were selling them all out behind their backs to the enemy for some false sense of security?? Oh. My. God! I couldn't have been laughing harder when I read through all of that. The hypocrisy! Yes, yes, you were saving peoples lives. Yes. Lets completely disregard the part where you were selling your allies out to the enemy because you're Such a Good Fucking Person.
And don't misunderstand me here. I'm not happy that Hope burned. I'm not happy that people died because of you. In fact I'm quite rather upset over that bit and offer my deepest sympathies for those who were lost. But I am most certainly beaming over the Cosmic Bitch Slap that fate just delivered to that bitch. Hey, Maybe it'll Wake her the Fuck up! Wouldn't that be awesome? Oh... no, just made her try to kill herself or something. Well thanks Elliot, we could have been done with that traitor, but if you guys wanna keep her around then I guess that's your choice. Forgive and Forget seems to be the Hypocrisy Special around here.
But I'm not going to apologize for this bit. This is me as serious as I can be. She can go jump in a lake. I don't care. Honestly, as far as I'm concerned, the greatest tragedy of last week isn't that Hope burned. It's that Konaa is Dead, and Elaine is Still Alive. Further proving the age old theory that Good People Die Young, and Bastards Live Forever.
But hey, at least one potentially good thing came out of it all... because Nicky Sage did Something Crazy, which if you are to believe even half of what he's said (and though I have a great deal of respect for those carrying around the Title of Sage, I still have a tendency to disregard every other thing Nick Dwyer says, because every other thing Nick Dwyer says and does makes Robert Sagel sound like a relatively sane gentleman by comparison), then he and Ellen may have actually scored everyone at best a couple weeks or at least a couple of days of Construct-free recuperation time. Course looks like I've been out of it for most of that time, but hey, maybe the rest of you got a bit of a reprieve. That's cool, right?
And I'm just gonna wrap it up here before I manage to piss anyone else off, because apparently a lot of people still like Elaine despite the big reveal. So, okay. If that's the kind of person you want to continue trusting, then go ahead. I'm not stopping you. But me personally? I'm not going anywhere near that bitch. You've got your opinion, I've got mine. Lets agree to disagree and move on. I've said everything I intend to say on the matter and I'm not going to "troll" the topic any further.
All that said and done. I think it's about time I stop drudging through the past and pay more attention to the present. So I'm ceasing my previous reading binges and going to focus only on current events from now on. I'm also going to start compiling my own notes and reading back over some bookmarks I made... See if I can't start putting together some worthwhile theories. Might take a few days, but I'll update as I can. Please bear with me.
Nov 29, 2011
Right... So, Hello Again.
Um... yeah. About that.
I’ve sort of been laid out on this nice cold concrete floor puking my guts out for the past week or so.
It wasn’t pretty. And I wasn’t exactly happy about it. And I’d have responded to people sooner, but that would have required getting up you see... and I was having far too much fun not moving.
So, obvious question first. No. It hasn’t shown up. It wasn’t responsible.
Okay. Question two. What the fuck happened? Well, hell if I know. I’m not a doctor. I got sick. Really... Really... fucking sick. Soooo... yeah. All I could tell you is that I was in “Happy Fun Times in the Floor” Land.
I’ve got some medicine here, but its kind of limited supply and, again, not a doctor. So between not knowing what to take and trying to ration, lets just say that stuff didn’t help me out much. I’m assuming I either had a bit of a bug before I came down here and it’s slowly been working away at me... Or I just magically made myself sick from all of my undocumented outbursts and depression over the last few weeks coupled with the less than perfect environment I’m stuck in and- I don’t have a fucking clue. I got sick, okay? I’m better now. Mostly... End of story.
Needless to say I’ve disinfected the floor and most of the rest of the room about a dozen times now. I think it’s fine now though. Still smells like cleaner though. Hope that doesn’t last.
I've actually been mobile for a day or two now, but I just didn't want to deal with any of this shit for a while after that whole ordeal and admittedly I was kind of afraid everyone would be pissed at me and not want to see my big dumb stupid head for a little while... so I just let it go a while longer. Now that I'm back however... ahh, hahaaaa... Well. I guess I've got a bit of catching up to do huh? I'll touch on that in a bit, just wanted to get this much out first. Expect another update in an hour or so once I'm done collecting my thoughts.
I’ve sort of been laid out on this nice cold concrete floor puking my guts out for the past week or so.
It wasn’t pretty. And I wasn’t exactly happy about it. And I’d have responded to people sooner, but that would have required getting up you see... and I was having far too much fun not moving.
So, obvious question first. No. It hasn’t shown up. It wasn’t responsible.
Okay. Question two. What the fuck happened? Well, hell if I know. I’m not a doctor. I got sick. Really... Really... fucking sick. Soooo... yeah. All I could tell you is that I was in “Happy Fun Times in the Floor” Land.
I’ve got some medicine here, but its kind of limited supply and, again, not a doctor. So between not knowing what to take and trying to ration, lets just say that stuff didn’t help me out much. I’m assuming I either had a bit of a bug before I came down here and it’s slowly been working away at me... Or I just magically made myself sick from all of my undocumented outbursts and depression over the last few weeks coupled with the less than perfect environment I’m stuck in and- I don’t have a fucking clue. I got sick, okay? I’m better now. Mostly... End of story.
Needless to say I’ve disinfected the floor and most of the rest of the room about a dozen times now. I think it’s fine now though. Still smells like cleaner though. Hope that doesn’t last.
I've actually been mobile for a day or two now, but I just didn't want to deal with any of this shit for a while after that whole ordeal and admittedly I was kind of afraid everyone would be pissed at me and not want to see my big dumb stupid head for a little while... so I just let it go a while longer. Now that I'm back however... ahh, hahaaaa... Well. I guess I've got a bit of catching up to do huh? I'll touch on that in a bit, just wanted to get this much out first. Expect another update in an hour or so once I'm done collecting my thoughts.
Nov 19, 2011
It’s Hot...
Okay... so... sorry about the outburst.
...but this is really getting to me. And I’m stuck in this fucking hole. And...
God why is it so hot in here??
I mean sure... yeah... no central heating and air. It’s a god damned hole in the earth. Not meant to be a livable space regardless of how well or unwell you fixed it up...
But noooo... no, no, no... it’s too hot. It’s too hot for fucking
asdfj sajfdsf
a fj
dsjo fdfox
i need to lie down
...but this is really getting to me. And I’m stuck in this fucking hole. And...
God why is it so hot in here??
I mean sure... yeah... no central heating and air. It’s a god damned hole in the earth. Not meant to be a livable space regardless of how well or unwell you fixed it up...
But noooo... no, no, no... it’s too hot. It’s too hot for fucking
asdfj sajfdsf
a fj
dsjo fdfox
i need to lie down
Nov 18, 2011
Overwhelming Data
So, I’ve been at this a while now. Obviously.
And it’s starting to make me crazy. Not in the fun “Slendy’s fucking with my mind” way either. Just plain “driving me up the wall” natural insanity. Stir crazy would be an understatement at this point.
I got locked down here with one simple goal in mind. Absorb information. Read. Watch. Learn. Find some way to beat this thing or at the very least evidence of activities which would be generally beneficial towards staying alive while being stalked by this thing.
I’ve got ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD... No outside obligations... No family responsiblities... No job... No school... No fucking chores... No slender stalking fuck... NOTHING. I take two hours out of the day to eat and exercise. Every other waking second of consciousness I spend at or around this gods damned computer trying to take in as much information as humanly possible. I’ve Got All The Time In The World.
...And it is NOT Enough.
There is just Too Much data here.
On July 2nd of 2010, Zeke Strahm, a detective, asked for assistance from the void of the internet for every piece of evidence they could find related to the Construct. One week later, on Friday, July 9, 2010, he presented his findings to the world. And he did a damn fine job in presenting his evidence and laying out logical foundations for how this thing works that Still Hold Up Today. That man had Unfathomable Perception.
But it’s been a year ladies and gents... well over in fact... and I’m no fucking detective.
The pool of information that Zeke had to work with has since grown to such an extent that to label it with a multiplier would not do it justice. No. The evidence has increased Exponetially. By an indeterminate factor. There is so much information. So much conflicting data. There is a new blog... a new blogger... Every. Other. Week. To even attempt to absorb it all is madness! There is Too Much. TOO MUCH!!
I see all these fools stumbling into the game and going “Oh hey, I better do some research to find out what I’m up against!” and then they come back not 24 hours later all “Okay! I am totally up to speed and ready to fight this thing!” NO. No You Are Not! You Don’t Know ANYTHING. You’ve barely skimmed the fucking surface of the behemoth of information that is the Slender Man! Fuck! FUCK YOU! At best, ignoring comments, and not SLEEPING, you’d be lucky to read though all of The mother-fucking Tutorial over the course of half a day! And guess what asshole?! As useful as it is, The Tutorial is so pathetically out of date that to be relying on it as your sole means of survival is completely asinine! M is a brilliant mother fucker, but where the fuck is he, huh?! WHERE?!? He Abandoned Us! How much has changed since he disappeared?? He came back and was so completely out of the loop he didn’t even know where to start! And then before he could even begin to catch up and try answering your questions, he fucking disappeared again! How. FUCKING. USELEEESSSSSSSS!!!!
...Oh fuck.
Oh god...
I...
...I don’t think I can do this.
And it’s starting to make me crazy. Not in the fun “Slendy’s fucking with my mind” way either. Just plain “driving me up the wall” natural insanity. Stir crazy would be an understatement at this point.
I got locked down here with one simple goal in mind. Absorb information. Read. Watch. Learn. Find some way to beat this thing or at the very least evidence of activities which would be generally beneficial towards staying alive while being stalked by this thing.
I’ve got ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD... No outside obligations... No family responsiblities... No job... No school... No fucking chores... No slender stalking fuck... NOTHING. I take two hours out of the day to eat and exercise. Every other waking second of consciousness I spend at or around this gods damned computer trying to take in as much information as humanly possible. I’ve Got All The Time In The World.
...And it is NOT Enough.
There is just Too Much data here.
On July 2nd of 2010, Zeke Strahm, a detective, asked for assistance from the void of the internet for every piece of evidence they could find related to the Construct. One week later, on Friday, July 9, 2010, he presented his findings to the world. And he did a damn fine job in presenting his evidence and laying out logical foundations for how this thing works that Still Hold Up Today. That man had Unfathomable Perception.
But it’s been a year ladies and gents... well over in fact... and I’m no fucking detective.
The pool of information that Zeke had to work with has since grown to such an extent that to label it with a multiplier would not do it justice. No. The evidence has increased Exponetially. By an indeterminate factor. There is so much information. So much conflicting data. There is a new blog... a new blogger... Every. Other. Week. To even attempt to absorb it all is madness! There is Too Much. TOO MUCH!!
I see all these fools stumbling into the game and going “Oh hey, I better do some research to find out what I’m up against!” and then they come back not 24 hours later all “Okay! I am totally up to speed and ready to fight this thing!” NO. No You Are Not! You Don’t Know ANYTHING. You’ve barely skimmed the fucking surface of the behemoth of information that is the Slender Man! Fuck! FUCK YOU! At best, ignoring comments, and not SLEEPING, you’d be lucky to read though all of The mother-fucking Tutorial over the course of half a day! And guess what asshole?! As useful as it is, The Tutorial is so pathetically out of date that to be relying on it as your sole means of survival is completely asinine! M is a brilliant mother fucker, but where the fuck is he, huh?! WHERE?!? He Abandoned Us! How much has changed since he disappeared?? He came back and was so completely out of the loop he didn’t even know where to start! And then before he could even begin to catch up and try answering your questions, he fucking disappeared again! How. FUCKING. USELEEESSSSSSSS!!!!
...Oh fuck.
Oh god...
I...
...I don’t think I can do this.
Nov 17, 2011
[Dream] Book of Secrets
So... I had something else I was gonna say today, but apparently fate had other plans for my postings today. You guys said if I had any weird dreams, you wanted to hear about them, right? I’m pretty sure I said I’d be sure to share if they seemed relevant in nature to the Construct so... fine... looks like I’ve got one.
I woke up from this mess at 2am last night. It was fucking burning up in here. Took a moment to jot down some notes so I wouldn’t forget anything come morning, because like hell I was booting things up to make a blog post in the middle of the damned night while I was still drowsy. Tried to cool off a bit and flopped back down into bed. Took me an hour and a half to get back to sleep... what. the. fuck.
So, how do I describe this? I was in a... place. I get this dystopian future vibe from the setting, but I can’t place it, so for all I know it’s just the run down corner of a city I’m not familiar with at night. Important to note here. Best I can tell, I’m myself in this dream... but it’s clearly established right from the get go... that I’m a Proxy. So... great. Fun times.
There’s some kind of power struggle going on and I’m basically in the middle of the conflict. Apparently there was some kind of upheaval in the ranks and now everyone’s at each other’s throat. Factions are popping up. It’s Proxy Vs Proxy and the Runners are, as usual, caught helplessly in the middle. The Construct doesn’t seem to give a shit either, because he isn’t really doing anything about it. Maybe he enjoys watching them fight. Fuck if I know.
So suddenly I’m tasked with this mission. I’ve got some kind of map wired into my brain and it’s leading me on a specified path through this ruined city-whatever-place. I’m supposed to find this artifact that’s hidden around here, some kind of book. It had a title. Think it ended in a “II” or “2” or something... suggesting there are others like it I guess? But I dunno, didn’t actually get enough of a glimpse to read and remember it. Point is, I’m supposed to be getting this book. Because supposedly it holds a secret that could destroy the “Monster.” I’d like to specifically point out it was called “the Monster” here. I’m pretty sure it was a reference to the Construct, but I want to use the exact wording I remember instead of my usual moniker to make sure we’re clear on that. In case it’s important somehow.
So I find the thing and I’m mentally presented with a choice. And I want to stop again to point out that these next lines are a direct quote, in the sense that I could SEE the words and this is how they appeared... “I realized then that I could burn the book and remain (caged) or I could take the book and be (free)” I don’t think we need to any rocket scientists to figure out what that shit might be referring to. I’m also assuming you can guess that, yeah, I took the fucking book.
But it seemed I couldn’t quite use (or perhaps couldn’t read?) the book myself. Maybe because I was a Proxy? Perception Filter? Maybe the book didn’t contain the rumored wisdom to defeat the Construct after all? Maybe this was only part of the puzzle and I needed more to complete the “weapon?” Like I said, something earlier seemed to suggest there were more of these things. In any event, nothing was happening and I seemed to be leaning towards the conclusion that I was going to need help to actually utilize the thing. Maybe a Runner?
I dunno. Seems like it ends there. It was longer than I’m making it seem. Lots of digital maps moving about and playing through my head as I wandered these apparently ancient structures of stone. Following a carefully inscribed path through the darkness of it all. Constant feeling like I was being followed. Like there were others all around, fighting amongst themselves like children. None of it really made sense. And I didn’t get a repeat when I finally got back to sleep... so there’s really not much more to add.
I don’t think it was an instance of localized Construct activity. Everything seems normal today. Seemed fine last night. Just a weird ass dream. Pretty sure I’m still safe. No worries here.
But I’m sure some of you are trying to decipher my “dream” now. That or trying to figure out if I’m just full of shit or not. Well... not much I can tell you. It was a dream. I really had it. This is the best recollection of it that I can give after a shitty night’s sleep and an early morning wake up call. In all likelihood it was nothing more than an elaborate fantasy constructed by an overactive imagination. So if you’re analyzing this seriously, then at least try and take everything with a grain of salt. And that’s it. Basically. I’m done.
....So, F&C, I’m apparently dreaming about you now. Should we start writing slashfic or is it too soon?
I woke up from this mess at 2am last night. It was fucking burning up in here. Took a moment to jot down some notes so I wouldn’t forget anything come morning, because like hell I was booting things up to make a blog post in the middle of the damned night while I was still drowsy. Tried to cool off a bit and flopped back down into bed. Took me an hour and a half to get back to sleep... what. the. fuck.
So, how do I describe this? I was in a... place. I get this dystopian future vibe from the setting, but I can’t place it, so for all I know it’s just the run down corner of a city I’m not familiar with at night. Important to note here. Best I can tell, I’m myself in this dream... but it’s clearly established right from the get go... that I’m a Proxy. So... great. Fun times.
There’s some kind of power struggle going on and I’m basically in the middle of the conflict. Apparently there was some kind of upheaval in the ranks and now everyone’s at each other’s throat. Factions are popping up. It’s Proxy Vs Proxy and the Runners are, as usual, caught helplessly in the middle. The Construct doesn’t seem to give a shit either, because he isn’t really doing anything about it. Maybe he enjoys watching them fight. Fuck if I know.
So suddenly I’m tasked with this mission. I’ve got some kind of map wired into my brain and it’s leading me on a specified path through this ruined city-whatever-place. I’m supposed to find this artifact that’s hidden around here, some kind of book. It had a title. Think it ended in a “II” or “2” or something... suggesting there are others like it I guess? But I dunno, didn’t actually get enough of a glimpse to read and remember it. Point is, I’m supposed to be getting this book. Because supposedly it holds a secret that could destroy the “Monster.” I’d like to specifically point out it was called “the Monster” here. I’m pretty sure it was a reference to the Construct, but I want to use the exact wording I remember instead of my usual moniker to make sure we’re clear on that. In case it’s important somehow.
So I find the thing and I’m mentally presented with a choice. And I want to stop again to point out that these next lines are a direct quote, in the sense that I could SEE the words and this is how they appeared... “I realized then that I could burn the book and remain (caged) or I could take the book and be (free)” I don’t think we need to any rocket scientists to figure out what that shit might be referring to. I’m also assuming you can guess that, yeah, I took the fucking book.
But it seemed I couldn’t quite use (or perhaps couldn’t read?) the book myself. Maybe because I was a Proxy? Perception Filter? Maybe the book didn’t contain the rumored wisdom to defeat the Construct after all? Maybe this was only part of the puzzle and I needed more to complete the “weapon?” Like I said, something earlier seemed to suggest there were more of these things. In any event, nothing was happening and I seemed to be leaning towards the conclusion that I was going to need help to actually utilize the thing. Maybe a Runner?
I dunno. Seems like it ends there. It was longer than I’m making it seem. Lots of digital maps moving about and playing through my head as I wandered these apparently ancient structures of stone. Following a carefully inscribed path through the darkness of it all. Constant feeling like I was being followed. Like there were others all around, fighting amongst themselves like children. None of it really made sense. And I didn’t get a repeat when I finally got back to sleep... so there’s really not much more to add.
I don’t think it was an instance of localized Construct activity. Everything seems normal today. Seemed fine last night. Just a weird ass dream. Pretty sure I’m still safe. No worries here.
But I’m sure some of you are trying to decipher my “dream” now. That or trying to figure out if I’m just full of shit or not. Well... not much I can tell you. It was a dream. I really had it. This is the best recollection of it that I can give after a shitty night’s sleep and an early morning wake up call. In all likelihood it was nothing more than an elaborate fantasy constructed by an overactive imagination. So if you’re analyzing this seriously, then at least try and take everything with a grain of salt. And that’s it. Basically. I’m done.
....So, F&C, I’m apparently dreaming about you now. Should we start writing slashfic or is it too soon?
Nov 12, 2011
Lets see... Everyone's Organs Still in Place?
Good. Good. This should be a short post then.
Lets see... so, unless I've overlooked something... and I checked everywhere I know to check... there weren't any major activities taking place the other day were there? I decided to refrain from posting anything about it because I didn't want to jynx the situation and prompt worry over it, but yesterday was the fabled and long awaited 11/11/11. Which no doubt 11:11:11 passed in both the AM and PM several times over the course of the day thanks to the handy invention that is "timezones." And yet... nothing really happened to speak of, did it? There was a bit of posting here and there, but none related to Construct activity taking place on the day in question.
I've been reading over quite a few things in the early posting about the Construct about how it "likes repeating numbers." And certainly it seems that certain activities and hauntings seemed to coincide with particular dates, times, street addresses, or room numbers in which some repeating digit where involved. But if there were truly a pattern to be found here, then surely the Construct would not have passed up the opportunity to cause absolute havoc on such a perfectly aligned set of numerals as 11/11/11 at 11:11:11. You're never going to see that many repeating digits in a date and time combination for another hundred years.
But nothing happened, did it? Not really... Certainly nothing we can verify at the very least.
So I think I'm going to step up on my imaginary pedestal and proclaim bullshit on this whole affair. All previous instances of the Construct showing an interest in appearing at moments in which digits repeat are merely happenstance. Pure coincidence. Just another idea in a long line of straw-grasping theories that have been proven untrue. Our understanding of the Construct and its nature is once again set back yet another step further. Chaos cannot be predicted through numerical patterns. No such correlation exists.
Moving on...
Lets see... so, unless I've overlooked something... and I checked everywhere I know to check... there weren't any major activities taking place the other day were there? I decided to refrain from posting anything about it because I didn't want to jynx the situation and prompt worry over it, but yesterday was the fabled and long awaited 11/11/11. Which no doubt 11:11:11 passed in both the AM and PM several times over the course of the day thanks to the handy invention that is "timezones." And yet... nothing really happened to speak of, did it? There was a bit of posting here and there, but none related to Construct activity taking place on the day in question.
I've been reading over quite a few things in the early posting about the Construct about how it "likes repeating numbers." And certainly it seems that certain activities and hauntings seemed to coincide with particular dates, times, street addresses, or room numbers in which some repeating digit where involved. But if there were truly a pattern to be found here, then surely the Construct would not have passed up the opportunity to cause absolute havoc on such a perfectly aligned set of numerals as 11/11/11 at 11:11:11. You're never going to see that many repeating digits in a date and time combination for another hundred years.
But nothing happened, did it? Not really... Certainly nothing we can verify at the very least.
So I think I'm going to step up on my imaginary pedestal and proclaim bullshit on this whole affair. All previous instances of the Construct showing an interest in appearing at moments in which digits repeat are merely happenstance. Pure coincidence. Just another idea in a long line of straw-grasping theories that have been proven untrue. Our understanding of the Construct and its nature is once again set back yet another step further. Chaos cannot be predicted through numerical patterns. No such correlation exists.
Moving on...
Nov 9, 2011
MORNINGSTAR
Originally I had different title planned and a bit of a different outline for what I wanted to say today, but circumstances seem to have presented me with an opportunity to approach this from a more immediately relevant angle, so... Here we go.
A lot of people seem to be having a proverbial "Hissy Fit" over the new Morningstar. Already acquaintances of the former Morningstar are up at arms against the new namebearer and shouting back and forth about how he will never be "Morningstar." How he will never be better than his predecessor in any way. And I just don't see that as being very fair... Because you see folks, the fact of the matter is, he already IS Morningstar and he stands just as good a chance of being a BETTER Morningstar.
I believe this is the part where the sunglasses are supposed to fall down and I tell you to "Deal With It."
And I feel perfectly justified by that statement for one very simply reason. "Morningstar" is a Title. A role attributed to a name. Nothing more, nothing less. He didn't even choose it you know? It was passed on to him by Valtiel. He merely accepted and embraced the title. Is it really so different from Zero accepting and embracing the title of "Sage" when it was passed to him by Robert? The creation and passing of such titles has become rather commonplace, even in the absence of the theory which spawned them.
So what you're really trying to say, but poorly phrasing, is that this new Morningstar will never be the same as "Luke Cifer." This... is a valid argument. Just as Zero could never be Robert, as Hakurei shall never be Maduin. Such things are impossible. These are different people. People with opposing views, habits, and personalities. Each an individual, regardless of any title they so happen to share. The Title does not make the person who they are... the Person makes the person who they are.
This is perhaps why, and now we're getting to my actual point, I believe it is better for individuals to title themselves. Because who knows you better than yourself? Or course Robert failed in his delivery of Titles to the people he met. How could he not? What did he really know about any of the people he passed along a name to? Only the faintest portions of their personalities which they had chosen to reveal through their blogs. And look how well that turned out... the Titles were either abandoned or placed upon shoulders unfit to carry them, resulting in confusion as players tried desperately to adhere to a roll they had no place being in. (My sincerest apologies, dear Zero, you clung too desperately to a name you were never meant to hold.)
A title is, psychologically, no different than a mask... be it a physical or mental one. It is a name based upon aspects of your nature, and perhaps your situation or environment, which empowers you though some means to apply yourself towards a given goal. It describes a role, self-imposed and self-fulfilled. A title can be changed as needed(Free to Cage to Free again) or many titles can be worn simultaneously(Seer-Jester-Sage)... but at the end of the day, the title still represents you, be it your entire self or merely a particular aspect of your persona. It is something which defines you, but by no means controls you.
Titles may still be passed, but it is up to you whether you accept that designation as a part of yourself. It cannot be forced upon you, nor should you accept one arbitrarily. Know your own role. Play your own part. Accept no substitutions.
All this said, I certainly hope that our new Morningstar will chose a name of his own one day. Though he may seek to burn as the brightest star, only time will tell if it is truly his place to claim that destiny. Who knows what fate his future holds? Time will tell I suppose... as it will tell for us all.
Best of Luck, MK-II.
A lot of people seem to be having a proverbial "Hissy Fit" over the new Morningstar. Already acquaintances of the former Morningstar are up at arms against the new namebearer and shouting back and forth about how he will never be "Morningstar." How he will never be better than his predecessor in any way. And I just don't see that as being very fair... Because you see folks, the fact of the matter is, he already IS Morningstar and he stands just as good a chance of being a BETTER Morningstar.
I believe this is the part where the sunglasses are supposed to fall down and I tell you to "Deal With It."
And I feel perfectly justified by that statement for one very simply reason. "Morningstar" is a Title. A role attributed to a name. Nothing more, nothing less. He didn't even choose it you know? It was passed on to him by Valtiel. He merely accepted and embraced the title. Is it really so different from Zero accepting and embracing the title of "Sage" when it was passed to him by Robert? The creation and passing of such titles has become rather commonplace, even in the absence of the theory which spawned them.
So what you're really trying to say, but poorly phrasing, is that this new Morningstar will never be the same as "Luke Cifer." This... is a valid argument. Just as Zero could never be Robert, as Hakurei shall never be Maduin. Such things are impossible. These are different people. People with opposing views, habits, and personalities. Each an individual, regardless of any title they so happen to share. The Title does not make the person who they are... the Person makes the person who they are.
This is perhaps why, and now we're getting to my actual point, I believe it is better for individuals to title themselves. Because who knows you better than yourself? Or course Robert failed in his delivery of Titles to the people he met. How could he not? What did he really know about any of the people he passed along a name to? Only the faintest portions of their personalities which they had chosen to reveal through their blogs. And look how well that turned out... the Titles were either abandoned or placed upon shoulders unfit to carry them, resulting in confusion as players tried desperately to adhere to a roll they had no place being in. (My sincerest apologies, dear Zero, you clung too desperately to a name you were never meant to hold.)
A title is, psychologically, no different than a mask... be it a physical or mental one. It is a name based upon aspects of your nature, and perhaps your situation or environment, which empowers you though some means to apply yourself towards a given goal. It describes a role, self-imposed and self-fulfilled. A title can be changed as needed(Free to Cage to Free again) or many titles can be worn simultaneously(Seer-Jester-Sage)... but at the end of the day, the title still represents you, be it your entire self or merely a particular aspect of your persona. It is something which defines you, but by no means controls you.
Titles may still be passed, but it is up to you whether you accept that designation as a part of yourself. It cannot be forced upon you, nor should you accept one arbitrarily. Know your own role. Play your own part. Accept no substitutions.
All this said, I certainly hope that our new Morningstar will chose a name of his own one day. Though he may seek to burn as the brightest star, only time will tell if it is truly his place to claim that destiny. Who knows what fate his future holds? Time will tell I suppose... as it will tell for us all.
Best of Luck, MK-II.
Nov 6, 2011
Working out Defenses
It’s been about a week now since I’ve posted anything hasn’t it? Sorry. I’ve found myself a little busy lately. F&C’s been asking me a few good questions now about my defenses and I guess it got me to thinking. I mean, I have defenses in place, but most of them rely heavily upon experimental logic. I trust the logic is sound and have a good deal of faith in it(I think it’s probably important that I “believe” it works too). But when you really start to think about it... it really is just untested highly experimental theory. So kind of flimsy as a defense against an eldritch horror.
So I’ve taken a break from my normal reading the last few days to do some alternative research. I’m working on setting up a few things that may help me out a lot in the long term, but it’s going to take me a while to really get any of it done. It’s pretty important though, I think... because I may have defenses, but in the event that I actually have to defend myself, then what I really need is an Escape Plan. And prior to now, I didn’t really have one. Everything in Onewinged’s notes was focused on survivability within the bunker and the logic pertaining to its status as a safe zone. Leaving it never really comes into the equation, since leaving equals certain death.
That’s the fear at least... I guess. I feel like... now that I know... that if I were to open that door and step outside, that the extreme sense of paranoia brought on by the knowledge I now have, would summon the Construct to me the second I placed myself out in the open. And then that’d be the end of it. I mean, it’s almost a given. I’m out here in the middle of the god damned woods. HIS TERRITORY. The only thing keeping me safe is the fact that he doesn’t know I’m here and (hopefully still) isn’t looking for me.
Which brings me back to the logic part I guess...
I’m not going to sit here and list out all of my defenses. That’s just stupid. It’s common knowledge that Proxies and Agents and whatever else that’s out there read these blogs. I’m not going to sit here and broadcast all of my secrets in a public space and give them all the information they need to work out a means of fucking me over at every turn. I mean, for the time being anyways, I’d say that I sort of trust the few people presently aligned with the Construct who have spoken to me here. I mean, they’ve yet to really give me a good reason not to. But this is a weird world I’ve entered into and one of the only certainties I can discern from it is that “Things Change.” Plus, there could be more of them watching me that haven’t made themselves known yet... I’m not going to take that risk and piss away all of my advantages. If someone is going to come after me, then good fucking luck to them because I’m not going to say anything that could even remotely aid in their quest of finding and murdering me. Sorry.
But I will discuss what defenses I can that aren’t of a compromising nature. Especially since the knowledge could prove helpful to some on the run, and that’s kind of what I’m here to help with so... carrying on.
The basic logic I keep referring to as my prime defense lies heavily within the logic of M’s Rules. I touched on this a bit earlier in the comments when F&C happened to take notice of “The Joke.” One of the most important elements that The Tutorial stresses is the need to “Get Up High.” This logic is founded upon the nature of the Construct. M views the Constuct from the standpoint of any other naturally existing predator. As an animal acting upon instincts. I’ve certainly seen plenty of instances that indicate a fairly higher level of potential intelligence from the Construct than M would initially suggest, but in the long run, the concept still applies. It IS a Predator. Of a generally Parasitic variety I might add... but still an animal, the same as you or me... just with a much higher ahh... Threat Level? I dunno how to describe it. Basically just the fact that he’s capable of some crazy shit.
But just because he’s powerful and can influence others, possibly even communicate with them on some level, doesn’t mean he’s of human or higher level intelligence. I’d kind of like to make a Termors reference. The Grabboids weren’t really all that “smart” at all, they were just really good predators which were good at adapting to new situations. This fact, combined perhaps with just sheer dumb luck on the beast’s part, led the human’s hunted by them to initially assume that they were far more intelligent than they actually are. I believe similar forces may be at work here...
Tangent aside, this leads to the theory that the Construct doesn’t recognize entities which are located several stories higher than it to be human. Because humans are smaller than the Construct, it perceives anything “taller” than it to not be human. And perception is almost always the key with this thing...
Another, non-Tutorial example can be found when the Sage Shaun experimented with the Construct to determine if it preferred to appear in light or dark rooms. The test determined that the Construct prefers to appear in well lit rooms. This prompted the theory that he chooses the well lit rooms because humans are more likely to be found near such light sources. The Constuct knows his prey well and thus molds his perceptions of how and where to find us. He’s been doing this for quite some time after all. We’re rather predictable after a while I would suppose... so it all becomes instinctual. And instinctual perceptions rarely change.
As such, my current position takes these ideas and proposes an Anti-Thesis, “Get Down Low.” The concept being that if you’re down low enough, such as in a deep dark hole in the ground, then the Construct is just as likely not to perceive you as human. Human’s don’t live in holes or caves, not anymore anyways. So why would he seek out his prey there?
Certainly there are instances of him entering such underground locations, such as the “temple?” discovered by Damien O’Conner... but in instances such as this, the Construct only appears to be venturing into these locations because he was “Invited” to them previously. I plan to make no such invitations... <.<;
Secondly, as I shall explain again, is my status as an Unmarked Victim. The reason Onewinged didn’t try the bunker experiment himself is because he knew he was marked. That he was contaminated. And that to enter the bunker would simply cause that contamination to spread, rendering the location and his experiment useless. So though something of this particular nature may work well for someone like me, it seems less likely to be effective for someone already hunted by the Construct. As it seems as if hiding from him is a relative impossibility... like there is a beacon of some kind which draws him to you. But as I have no such mark, I remain effectively off its radar.
I’m not sure how long that will last however. Certainly I know of him now. So I’m... “Corrupted?” I suppose one might call it? But I don’t think that’s enough to draw him to me. I will note this specifically to Lady Elaine as perhaps one of those few things that Robert Sagel was correct about... even though it seems he never quite returned to elaborating on the matter... but the idea that simply knowing about the Construct is not enough to make a victim of yourself. There’s something more to it than that. Another step or two that must be taken before you become one of the hunted. And I’m certainly not sure what that is, but I am most certain that simply knowing Him is not enough. To believe such is quite literally stupid. It doesn’t make any sense.
I’ve read quite a few instances now and it’s never quite the same. Some will research the monster in depth, learning everything they can about him, and commenting on the blogs of runners about the creature... yet they themselves remain unstalked. They may even be actively TRYING (for some unreasonably perverse means) to attract the creature to themselves... yet still they remain unstalked for an extensive span of time before the Construct finally decides to take notice of them. Meanwhile, others may only just have become aware of him and barely know anything at all, yet they become stalked right away. And to add even more madness to the equation, there are those who know absolutely nothing about the Constuct at all prior to encountering it, yet still they have become one of the hunted. So not only is knowing about him not the only requirement for becoming a victim, but it may well not be a factor in the equation at all!
That being the case, I believe I may be much more well protected from the Construct than one would initially assume. The only connection I have to the creature at all is through Onewinged... and if the Construct took no interest in me prior to now, then it most likely remains uninterested. As such, I believe that I’m safe here. Outside of its reach. Outside of its vision.
....That’s what I’m going to keep telling myself anyways.
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