Just as a forward, this isn't me trying to be egotistical enough to one-up "The Rules" as previously described by M of The Tutorial ages ago. Nor is it meant to really be amendments to said set of rules or any other set of rules laid down by anyone else to come before or after me. Rather, this is a set of clearly obvious bullshit which I am repeating for the sake of prosperity because people are stupid sometimes, myself included. So basically, just some things to maybe keep in mind. Okay? We good now? Lets continue then...
Rule #1 - EVERYONE LIES
Without exception. Runner, Proxy, doesn't matter. Everyone is looking out for their own ass and they will say whatever it takes to cover it. This is not to say "Don't Trust Anyone" but rather to take everything with a grain of salt. Use your own best judgement and decide for yourself what the truth is. Take nothing at face value.
Rule #2 - Don't Fall in Love
In my blog reading, vlog watching experience there is no quicker killer than a romantic relationship. Hell, we're practically caught up in a horror story, do I even need to tell you what happens to the happy couple that dives into bed in the middle of the slasher flick? But noooo... this is the real life, so everyone is all "I can protect them!" and "Our love will see us through!" and guess what? It won't. In fact, it will Fucking Destroy You. Why? Because you just made your partner a target and your biggest emotional weakspot. This will be Exploited. Now what happens when your partner is threatened? You go off and do something stupid. What happens when you do stupid things in this business? Oh right, you DIE.
Just try and think about it, okay? What are you going to do when your significant other disappears or gets killed (quite possibly right in front of your eyes)? You're either going to have a complete breakdown, leaving yourself vulnerable to whatever the Construct has planned for you, or you're going to fly off the handle and do something incredibly stupid, which will get either yourself or more people around you killed. And that sucks. And I know that. And I'm sorry. But you're going to have to deal with it. The best thing you can do for your partner, especially if they aren't involved yet, is to let them go and put as much distance between the two of you as possible. If you're both already in the thick of it, then they're already fucked... so I guess you can just keep thinking that "Love will set you free!" but... it won't. So just enjoy the time you have together for as long as you can, because it's not going to last.
Rule #3 - Don't Delude Yourself
Do you know how many people have walked into this ordeal and uttered the words "I'm going to KILL the Slender Man"? Quite a few. Do you know where those people are now? They're dead. And oh look, the Construct isn't. Go figure. This is thereabouts the equivalent of shouting "I am Invincible!" in an anime. We all know what's coming next and the only person who doesn't seem to see it is you.
Now, I'm not saying to not even bother fighting it, to just give up because the Construct can't be beaten. Rather, I'm pointing out that you're not going to accomplish this on your own. I don't care how elaborate your master plan is, it's not going to work. It never works. This is not a problem that one man (or woman) can solve on their own. It will ultimately require a group effort. And by that I do not mean you and your two best friends, you will be slaughtered, Stop It. So you're better off just focusing on survival (and perhaps further research, since that's always beneficial) and just trying to wait things out. Eventually we'll learn enough and band close enough together to take this thing down for real, but until then don't go throwing your life away needlessly. We NEED all of the strong fighters we can get.
Rule #4 - Proxies Don't Know Shit
Apologies for this one up front guys, cause I know some of you reading ARE proxies. But here's the deal... You're a new runner. Or maybe not, but whatever, follow along. You don't know what the fuck is going on. Suddenly there's this other guy or girl showing up who's also involved in what you're going through and they're leaving you hints and clues and puzzles and all this other cryptic bullshit, so now you think they know what's going on and if you can just figure out their puzzles or get a chance to really talk and get some answers out of them then you'll find the solution to all of your problems. Well, guess what? Not happening. Sadly, that Proxy you're dealing with is just as clueless and in the dark as you are, nine times out of ten. (And the other 1 time they are fucking with you On Purpose, so you're still not getting what you want.) They're just fucking crazy right now and you'll end up just like them if you keep going down this road and playing along with their stupid games. You're better off dealing with the Proxies that just try to stab you.
Rule #5 - Know Your Enemy
They say the more you know about the Construct the more of a target you make yourself. So don't seek knowledge related to it... Well that's Bullshit. If this thing has interfered with your life, if you've seen it more than once In Person, then you are already FUCKED. That being the case, it's better to know everything you can about what you're up against up front before you get sucker punched by an unknown. Research constantly. Learn everything you can as fast as you can and then Keep Fucking Learning. Be weary of information overload, as it will occur, and remember that not everything you read is going to make sense, but you can sort all of that out later when you're better informed.
Rule #6 - Risk Death
Guess what? Hate to break this to you. But you're gonna die. We all are. By the time you're reading this, I may already BE dead. That being the case, there isn't a lot of merit in spending all of your time trying to "Stay Safe." Because you're not safe. You're never going to BE Safe again. Being extremely generous, you've got about a 2% chance of me being wrong about that and you eventually escaping from the Construct for reals and for trulys.
So fuck it. Take risks. Experiment. HELP PEOPLE. Do anything you can. Do EVERYTHING you can. Keep your body breathing, sure. Don't be stupid if you can avoid it. And certainly don't be outright suicidal. But you're going to die anyways, so there's no reason not to take chances. Make your death count for something. Do not go quietly into that good night. Rage. Rage against the dying of the light.
That'll have to be all for now... my bus is here. Going to meet up with someone. No details yet. I'll see you when I see you...
I'd say ouch or some shit, but I already know I'm a dumbass.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking in hindsight, I'd put forth the effort that, you, I, and everyone we know is a dumbass in some form or fashion. So I've taken to the assumption that that's just part of being human and have henceforth chosen to ignore it. We shall be dumbasses to our heart's content. Though perhaps going forward we will at least be smarter dumbasses.
DeleteSeems legit, I like them better than M's rules anyway.
ReplyDeleteRule 2. "You're either going to have a complete breakdown, leaving yourself vulnerable to whatever the Construct has planned for you, or you're going to fly off the handle and do something incredibly stupid"
ReplyDeleteSince I'm dropping all pretenses, I'm going to actually say. This is the most correct of all the rules. Something everyone should be careful of.
Very unfortunate that Project Destiny will involve seeing how far Subject: Chad will go to prove that above quotation when he is re-initiated into the project.
I guess this means I'll be forcing someone to break one or more of these rules you have suggested.
I'm actually a little entertained at the notion.
Overseer, you're such a troll. I thought for a little while that you were worth a damn, but really, I think it's time you shut the fuck up for a while. Wanna know why?
DeleteBecause Harlequin's just playing with your strings, and it gets boring after a while to see her puppets flail about before they die. You think she won't kill you as well after the next failure you and your organization forces her to deal with?
I've no doubt you're looking forward to that... hence why I'm hoping it retroactively bites you in the ass... but I don't have a rule for that yet, so maybe you're safe.
DeleteThough I think you're already breaking Rule #5...
Well, well. Someone is trying to be M 2.0 eh? Well frankly, I think you deserve it. These rules are very logical. Hell, it might keep some of you Runners alive for more than a few months. Don't get me wrong, I still want to see all of you dead... But I also want it to be a SHOW instead of a SLAUGHTER. Much more entertaining that way. Make The Dread Father work for his fun and all that.
ReplyDeleteSo. Good luck with your... Meeting with someone. Hope they don't kill you.
Cue antagonistic response, witty comeback, and surprisingly accurate statement.
DeleteToo much? Ah, I'm tired. I'll try being specific next time.
See ya on the flip side, Mr. Vain and Stupid.
Did I not write a paragraph at the start of this saying I was not trying to be M 2.0? That job is taken, btw, by a much better candidate.
DeleteIn any event, I'll try to keep my portion of the show entertaining. Try living long enough to see the end, hm?
Rule #2 only reminds me of all those RomComs (and Zombieland) where the main character tries so hard not to fall in love or not to do something stupid while in love, and fails miserably.
ReplyDeleteCross your fingers and hope you don't jinx it, I guess.
These seem to be good rules. Perhaps cynical, but honest and thought out. Good luck with your meeting.
ReplyDeleteS
Shouldn't there be a rule about not picking fights when you should be paying attention to your friends/families/comrades dying or threats on their life/sanity? Because, gotta say, sometimes people have been more focused on trolling or being the "better" man than the shit they should be caring about.
ReplyDeleteMaybe one about not being a selfish cunt? Ya know, that helping other people (at least when a Runner) has a GOOD chance of making people favorable towards you. And, *gasp*, towards helping you when YOU need it! Same thing for proxies, really.
Oh, and one last thing, just for shits and giggles: Let's try being genre-savvy, people. I think that's what this post is about. Ya know what helps with that? Learning tropes. I kid you not, knowing tropes and situations that go along with them sometimes gives AMAZING inspiration as to what you can do to help you own.
Gargie, it's been real, but I gotta leave. Drop me a line sometime, yeah?
You know what happens when you recomend that, though, don't you? We start seeing a lot of dangerously-genre savvy villians and wrong-genre savvy heros. Just the way things seem to work for some reason.
DeleteSee you around
-Cage
People are morons. That's the way things work. =.=
DeleteWell, at some point rules such as these would have to begin aiming at more personal instances such as that... in which case one would need to start applying their own rules to themselves by learning from their stupid mistakes. Hmm... so maybe there should just be a "Learn from your stupid mistakes" rule...?
DeleteBeing genre savvy probably helps too though. But at some point, perception starts playing a role and that can just fuck everything all to hell. I don't think you want to deal with a genre savvy Construct that starts using your own tropes against you. That would be terribly awkward.
aaand drop you a line.... ooohkay, I shall attempt to perform this feat at some point.
While your opinions have merit, they're hardly facts.
ReplyDeleteA comment on rule 2, some of us need companionship to have even a chance. We're much worse off without it. We function better with people. It's simple fact of life. Because human emotions will do what they want to and you're an idiot if you try and deny them. Humans are not built to be alone.
Besides, being alone has its own risks when it comes to drawing attention. Be sure to stay warm, hon.
"Be sure to stay warm" is code for stop being a dumbass and making yourself bait for the Cold Boy. You're isolated, alone, and afraid.
DeleteBut hey, lemme be a bitch and quote Ridley. "Stay frosty."
Because that's EXACTLY what you're doing now. Good luck with that, yea?
...Thanks for the clarification, Amy? It's true, though. One way is bad, but other routes can have just as many issues.
DeleteYes, there are bad, terrible, painful aspects of being wih someone you care for while Running, but I'd have been dead or worse months ago if not for Tia, most likely. Even if I was reluctant to get her involved in the first place. She says she was involved the moment I was, though. And that's from when we were "just" friends.
Different strokes for different folks, though. Maybe Gargoyle can make it on his own. Maybe he won't draw the attention of anything that prefers the lonely and secluded. I really hope that's true.
Ah... I suppose I also appreciate that clarification as I would never have caught that... XD I do not quite follow the Chilly Shota that much, so I was not aware I had created such a potential vulnerability. In defense though, it has been surprisingly warm... to the point I fear my allergies starting to act up... (and if someone brings up warnings about Birdface McCancerPants because I said that, then I will do an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle) ...but I've got extra stuff to bundle up in too if I need it, so not terribly worried there.
DeleteFor the other bit, Rule #2 isn't a suggestion to always go it alone or saying that you shouldn't travel in pairs or anything. Companionship or whatever is one thing. Still probably dangerous, but it just depends on how much that person means to you or more specifically, upon how much of a crutch that person is to you. If you feel like the only reason you've been able to keep going is because of another person, then they are a liability, and losing them will leave you more broken than you've ever been before. So just take care in regards to such things, mkay? Be aware of them at the very least.
......I am having to try SO hard to keep from deliberately causing you to do an "acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle." I imagine it would be very entertaining. -grins- But I can't see you enjoying that very much.
DeleteRule 2 has just recently bit me in the ass.
ReplyDeleteFunny how most of these rules apply to everyone.
Although I know for a fact that the times I have lied in my entire life can be counted on one hand. So that's something to think about.
What about all those half-truths and deceptions of yours? Your brand of "helping" people leaves much to desired, especially when you consider all the murder and rape.
DeleteYou run two things together as if they're the same. Let's space it out.
DeleteI do half truth occasionally. That's very true. But it's not as if I like to. I have just found that once people learn about the fact that I want to murder them, they don't talk to me. So I avoid the subject. I really do prefer the truth though. And half truths are so easy to beat, really. If you're ever in doubt of my true meaning, just ask me. I won't lie. And it's hard to manipulate a direct question.
Now, about the helping. Just because people don't see how I'm helping them doesn't mean that I'm not. I am quite effective at what I set out to do, lamb. Perhaps you'd like a demonstration?
So you're saying you dance around the fact that you want to kill people because.. you're chatty? You're lonely? Hell, you can't really blame people for wanting to avoid conversations with you when you have such a terrible reputation.
DeleteI'll be sure to ask you plenty of questions in the future, but for now.. you are not the lion. I won't be your lamb, and demonstrations are unnecessary. Your lessons are more than effective from afar.
My reputation? Can you actually tell me how many people I've killed? I've raped? Actually, out of the people who are still alive, I imagine a great deal of them would say quite nice things about me. It really depends on what reputation you mean. And of course I get lonely sometimes. Doesn't everyone?
DeleteNow now Lamb. If you have questions, don't be afraid to ask them.
That "great deal" of people are stupid, and they're likely to wind up dead. Whether by you or someone else, I can't say, I'm not a fortuneteller.
DeleteWe really shouldn't be quarelling in Gargoyle's comments, especially when we're
basically derailing the entire point of his post. Unless he particularly wants to watch? Hell if I know. It still isn't very nice.
No, it's fine. I like watching David dance around. It's amusing.
DeleteIn response to the original comment though, I suppose making them fit to as broad a spectrum as possible was the point of it all. Get too specific and you're just singling people out to complain and not doing anyone else much good.
Oh, well... when you put it that way, then I don't mind a bit.
DeleteQuestion for David, if he's still paying attention:
What is one thing you DO feel remorse for?
Rule #1, how often people forget it, that's one of the good things about you, your skeptical but not cynical, most people seem the other way around. And then there's always don't be stupid, but that one seems to get ignored by pretty much everyone at some point or another.
ReplyDeleteSo, who are you off meeting with now... On second thought, I think I figured it out, assuming it's another blogger. Oh well, I guess I'll just find out with everyone else.
See you around
-Cage
I did leave a pretty obvious hint, didn't I? But what can I say? It fit what I was going for... so I couldn't help it.
DeleteThis person was rather obvious, in hindsight. You were right. <3
Delete