Apr 16, 2012

Well... That Happened.

I picked a terrible time to play with gizmos that had the potential to give me migraines and nausea. Cause this weekend reeeeeally hasn't done much to make things better on that front. Seems every time I look at my computer now something crazy is going down and I'm having trouble processing it all. I think I'm just going to scroll through events to clear my head... you don't mind right? You've got nothing better to read right now... else you wouldn't be here in the first place. XP

Elaine Died.
That's what I'm going to call "the rumor" anyways.
I suppose you're all expecting me to jump with joy now, hmm? Throw a big party? Dance around singing "Ding, dong, the witch is dead?"

Sorry to disappoint. But I don't celebrate deaths. I didn't really like her a whole lot... Understatement... but that doesn't mean I'm happy she's dead. Not necessarily upset though either. So I guess the outside observer would just assume I don't care. Sure... I guess you can believe that if you want.

I am smiling though... but that is for entirely different reasons.

Nightscream is Alive. In spite of the catastrophe caused in keeping... hmm... sorry, not playing the undefined gender word game... her alive, I'm... kind of relieved honestly. I was expecting a report from The Messenger at any time and... I don't care if it's weird or stupid of me. It's one less dead person. So yes, I'm happy about THAT. Yes, saving her skin cost quite a few lives... but... and yes this is selfish... I don't care. She's alive. That's one smile I didn't have to force for once.

And She Made Them Fight One Another. >:3 Magnificent Bitch! XD

But... yeah... there was a lot of collateral damage from that... which I believe Proxiehunter warned would happen in the event something like that took place. And the saddest part being that I'm pretty sure neither of them died in the battle... However, I would wager the Plague Doctor will probably be quiet for a little while. Because I would similarly wager the Construct kicked its ass.

And then that other thing happened..........

I feel like I should dig out the red hoodie again for another experiment... but then again, I really never quite enjoyed wearing clothing with an Operator Symbol emblazening the hood. It's like having a fucking target painted on the back of your head. "Insert Bullet Here."

But yeah... apparently, we have a new Redlight. So I get to make more Mark-II jokes... (and Mark-III jokes apparently, but we'll get to that later) ...but... this was probably one of those developments that struck me the hardest. I'm... not sure why. I mean, obviously it's a big deal. Incredibly fucking big deal. <.<;; In fact, incredibly fucking BAD THING.

But... I don't know. I was never around for the original Red. I've heard of him, thought of him, but... he was already dead. So I never considered him much of a threat I guess. He was practically a joke by the time I started up. Yet this? I dunno... something about it just... pressed all the right buttons and made me feel uneasy... Angry even. Like it was personal all of a sudden. And I can't imagine why... maybe because it's Spenc because it WAS the man formerly known as Spencer Fitzgerald? Fuck it... who knows. But I'm not feeling very chill about the whole thing. I know that much at least.

And then there's... What ever the fuck THIS is.
On the one hand I'm all... Huh... That's cool I guess? On the other... What. The. Fucking. Fuck?? And on a completely third hand I just grew out of my forehead, Timing. Fucking. Timing.

We just lost-

.....I still can't talk about this.....

Fuck it.
Just fuck all of it and fuck all of you!
Crying over some bitch who might not even be dead and not one of you shed a tear for--DAMNIT

I need something to get my mind off all of this shit for a while, but I don't have any ideas for- oh... I guess there's still that... That'll do I guess... I'll test it tomorrow. Results when... there are fucking results.


  1. I had honestly never of Redlight until he came up on your blog. You kept his memory live and you never even knew him.

    Something beautiful about that thought.

  2. I don't want to talk about Poe, Elaine, Nightscream or Morningstar.

    It's enough to drive a man to drink.

    What are you testing, exactly?

    1. Perception...
      post's going up as soon as my head stops hurting enough to finish writing it...

  3. Shed a tear for Poe, you mean? You'd be surprised how many tears have fallen since she 'broke.' It's just.. sometimes it's easier to feel the anger, than the pain, when it comes to things like this. It's easier to find someone to blame..

  4. Not a rumor. Elaine's death is confirmed.

    I'm not sure who you're upset about. But if it's Her, well...thank you.
    If not, I'm still sorry for your loss.

    -Don't Shoot The Messenger-

    1. Oh good... I don't think I can handle any more zombies this week.

      ....sorry. Just... Sorry.

  5. Pleased to hear you enjoyed the Show, sweetheart. Though, if I ever go through something like that again, I feel I should request a stunt double. Would make recoup so much simpler.

    I can't help but find amusement, however, in the fact that you find a reason to smile in the survival of a Proxy amongst all those that have fallen as of late. Pray tell... do you honestly find me that entertaining? Or... are you truly that afraid of death?

    1. I find inspiration in unusual places...
      but I don't know... I'm not so bothered, generally, by the thought of my own death. If I die, I'm dead. Nothing else to worry about. But when other people die, regardless of the nature of my attachment to them... it bothers me. It bothers me a lot.

      ...so I try not to think about it.


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