Okay, okay, no, that's poor choice of wording. It's becoming readily more and more apparent that the initial opinion I had of you guys was incorrect... but can you really blame me for that? Most of the first few instances of Proxy involvement I witnessed involved clearly crazy people being crazy and trying to stab people and such things so I mean, really? Really? What do you expect? People like me, new to the fold, have to really DIG before we start to realize that you're still human. In the midst of all the chaos, it's easy to forget that. Especially, I would imagine, if you're a person trying not to get STABBED.
So lets try this again...
Dear Recently Hallowed,
Welcome to the fold. I suspect it will take you some time to adjust to your new life as a servant of the Grand High Tallest, but you shall find your place eventually. Your first task as a newly ordained Proxy is to seek out and cryptically torment some unfortunate blogger on the run from your new Master. We know your mind may be a tad befuddled as a result of your contact with Father, but it is nonetheless of the absolute necessity that you not make yourself look like a complete moron in front of your Runner adversaries. Therefore, before you begin your task, allow me to lay down a few simple ground rules to help you on your way.
1) Before leaving cryptic remarks for your selected victim, first ensure that said victim is STILL ALIVE. This is important. No matter how brilliant your choice of tormenting words, you will only appear a fool if you leave your comments for a blogger who has been missing and/or DEAD for over Six Months.
2) Upon selecting your victim, make sure you read their blog first. This serves two purposes, one of which shall be explored shortly, the other is to assist in fine tuning your trolling attempt. The more you know about your victim, the better your chances of getting his/her goat when you blast them with your vicious mind-games. You don't want to be too vague or accidentally remark on something they've already dealt with or overcome.
3) Always reply to your victim's most recent blog posting! If you read through the blog first, then this should be inevitable, as you will have arrived at the most recent post upon completion of your research as assigned in step two. This is also important, since most bloggers will not check their first posting(s) for comments once they've moved ahead by a few months. Or a full year. As such, your mental jabs shall never reach your opponent, completely ignored as they focus on their most recent postings. Instead, your epic trolls will only be read by poor shmucks like myself who are reading through the blog for the first time... and their only choice of response will be to stare at your brand new post on a year old posting and think "Wow. What a complete and total Dumbass."
Follow these simple guidelines and you shall be well on your way to becoming an Agent Elite!
*Ammendum: This logic applies to Runners as well by the way... Especially if you are a Runner trolling a Proxy blog. I mean seriously. Come On.