Overwhelming Data

So, I’ve been at this a while now. Obviously.

And it’s starting to make me crazy. Not in the fun “Slendy’s fucking with my mind” way either. Just plain “driving me up the wall” natural insanity. Stir crazy would be an understatement at this point.

I got locked down here with one simple goal in mind. Absorb information. Read. Watch. Learn. Find some way to beat this thing or at the very least evidence of activities which would be generally beneficial towards staying alive while being stalked by this thing.

I’ve got ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD... No outside obligations... No family responsiblities... No job... No school... No fucking chores... No slender stalking fuck... NOTHING. I take two hours out of the day to eat and exercise. Every other waking second of consciousness I spend at or around this gods damned computer trying to take in as much information as humanly possible. I’ve Got All The Time In The World.

...And it is NOT Enough.

There is just Too Much data here.

On July 2nd of 2010, Zeke Strahm, a detective, asked for assistance from the void of the internet for every piece of evidence they could find related to the Construct. One week later, on Friday, July 9, 2010, he presented his findings to the world. And he did a damn fine job in presenting his evidence and laying out logical foundations for how this thing works that Still Hold Up Today. That man had Unfathomable Perception.

But it’s been a year ladies and gents... well over in fact... and I’m no fucking detective.

The pool of information that Zeke had to work with has since grown to such an extent that to label it with a multiplier would not do it justice. No. The evidence has increased Exponetially. By an indeterminate factor. There is so much information. So much conflicting data. There is a new blog... a new blogger... Every. Other. Week. To even attempt to absorb it all is madness! There is Too Much. TOO MUCH!!

I see all these fools stumbling into the game and going “Oh hey, I better do some research to find out what I’m up against!” and then they come back not 24 hours later all “Okay! I am totally up to speed and ready to fight this thing!” NO. No You Are Not! You Don’t Know ANYTHING. You’ve barely skimmed the fucking surface of the behemoth of information that is the Slender Man! Fuck! FUCK YOU! At best, ignoring comments, and not SLEEPING, you’d be lucky to read though all of The mother-fucking Tutorial over the course of half a day! And guess what asshole?! As useful as it is, The Tutorial is so pathetically out of date that to be relying on it as your sole means of survival is completely asinine! M is a brilliant mother fucker, but where the fuck is he, huh?! WHERE?!? He Abandoned Us! How much has changed since he disappeared?? He came back and was so completely out of the loop he didn’t even know where to start! And then before he could even begin to catch up and try answering your questions, he fucking disappeared again! How. FUCKING. USELEEESSSSSSSS!!!!









...Oh fuck.

Oh god...

I...

...I don’t think I can do this.