This Again

I'm starting to become worried about a Proxy...

Normally that sentiment, when announced by a runner, would mean something to the effect of "Oh God, there's this Proxy stalking me, and oh fuck what do I do?" Well... it's a human. So I suppose you would shoot them. That sounds like an idea. Honestly not my first choice of reaction, but just saying...

But no, for me that's not really ever been the concern. Proxies are not the enemy, but I've been over this before. So when I start worrying about any given proxy, it's for the same reason you might worry for a fellow runner. You think they're starting to lose themselves to the monster... or that they're going to die... and that makes you feel bad. Because you don't want to see them go like that.

Now granted, I'm still an optimist when I can be. Hope is not lost. I firmly suspect that each of the proxies I'm presently concerned with will pull through in the end. I believe in them. Odd as that may sound to some. But that doesn't stop me from being concerned about them.

Which leads me to the point of the matter I suppose. In most of the current cases there is one standout feature which seems to hold the highest degree of relative significance when searching for the root cause of their dilemmas. And for once, it's not the Construct. It's the Bureaucracy.

Lately, whatever mild admiration I had for the effectiveness of the proxy organizational structure has been summarily lost in light of recent events. With so many bungled mishaps, infiltrations, and clear abuses of power, I'm left to wonder why any self respecting proxy listens to these so called "Highers" at all. What sway could they possibly hold over you? What reason have you to believe that the orders they give you come from the Construct at all? I for one am left to believe that these fools are sitting around wanking it in a comfy chair while sending people out on suicide missions for their own personal amusement. And in regards to human ass-fuckery, this is about as evil as you can get in my book. These bastards are sending people off to die while they stay it safe in a hole somewhere, never once rewarding successes, yet quick to anger at the slightest failure. That sickens me.

Am I drawing the wrong conclusions here? Do enlighten me. I'm always happy to learn more about the system. Or the "culture" if you prefer that.

But if I'm anywhere near to correct, then wouldn't you agree it's about time for some new leadership? I mean seriously, what's stopping you from revolting against these clowns? The Construct? You think it cares? Unless you suddenly change sides, it doesn't even seem to notice you lot, so that can't be it. What do you think is going to happen? The Highers are going to send some elite proxy kill squad to eliminate you? What elite proxy kill squads?? Last I checked, you guys ARE the elite proxy kill squads. They have nothing on you. Your leash has an invisible chain. They can't tug back on something that isn't there.

But maybe I'm being too idealistic. It's not my place to be making such calls. But given what we've been seeing lately... a little defiance shown from you guys now and then would be a much appreciated change of pace. Hell, you might even make some actual Progress if you tried it. Just a thought.

Ugh, I dunno...
Just... just stay safe out there... you crazy bunch of bastards.


((Except you Writer... you've recently managed to achieve sole ownership of my list of "People Who Can Go Die in a Fire." So that means you're a bigger douche than David now. Congrats!))

One Big Unhappy Family

I've been having trouble fitting some theory into words lately. I blame some... distractions. But yeah, would rather take a bit more time putting my thoughts in order to ensure I say everything I want to say about this. Still felt like posting something though, so I thought I'd just ramble a bit instead about something that came up during the last- hmm... actually, from every "storm" that's blown through here. I think Rhodes was the last one to make the comment though, so I'll pretend I'm picking on him... You can play along with that if you like.


Every so often, someone like me has a disagreement with another runner and it degrades into shouting matches and friends come to the aid of friends and it sometimes, if not more often, turns into a bit of a scuffle of words. As one passerby might have put it, everyone whips out their e-dicks and starts waving them around declaring they've got the biggest. This is kind of human nature. We thrive on conflict. Shit happens. So then inevitably, as we sit around ripping each other a part, one of our delightful friends on the other side comes along and expresses their enjoyment of how we're tearing each other down and how much easier it's going to be for them to take us all out now.

This is funny to me.

Here's why...
See, I guess you can't see this simple fact because you're wearing your hypocrisy perception filter goggles, but ahh... You guys bicker more than we do! XD Oh, and fun fact! You tend to do it a lot more often in person too. With KNIVES.

Now, I know, I know. You're not all ripping each other apart daily either. Or at the very least you're not blogging about it. But seriously, lets take a test. Stop for a moment and think about it. Of your fellow Proxy, how many of them do you really like and get along with? You can think of a few, right? Of course! Just go ahead and jot them down on a sheet of paper.

Okay, now get yourself another sheet for your next list. Ready? Stop for a moment and think of all the Proxies you can't fucking stand and would probably like to see murdered violently(preferably by yourself). Woooow... that list just EXPLODED didn't it? Do you even need to compare them at this point?

I mean really, half of these guys you would have nothing to do with if you weren't under orders to work with and put up with them. You guys just had a bitchin New Years Party the other week and though plenty of fun times and pleasant conversations were had, you spent the whole time wondering when shit was going to hit the fan and you'd all start trying to kill one another. Oh, and of course, eventually, that highly anticipated course of action IS what happened.

And you think we're falling apart because we yell at one another over the internet from time to time? XD

Here's the fact of the matter to set the record straight, okay guys? I'm pretty sure a good half of the runner's hate each other, just like you guys hate at least half of each other. The key difference between the two groups, from my observation, is this... The runners are willing to work together to help one another. Sometimes for no reason what so ever. And sometimes even when it's a person they don't particularly like. When's the last time one of you guys can say one of your fellows really came to help you out? And they weren't under orders to do so? Oh, I'm sure it still happens. Not all of you are complete dicks after all. But it's the exception rather than the rule, am I right?

I mean, just look around yourselves right now. How many of your fellows were in trouble recently? Or are in trouble right now? It'd be pretty easy for me to drop a few names, but I'm gonna refrain from that on account of it seeming to hold the potential to further upset the people or situations in question... but you all read the same blogs I do, you know who I'm thinking of. So how many of you have offered to do a damned thing to help them out? I mean, maybe there's nothing you can do, but you could at least offer a word or two of support from time to time. More often than not, these troubled Proxies are getting more sympathy and offers of aid from their Enemies than they are from their own allies. That's pretty sad guys.

You may have better organization and general leadership than the runners and fighters, but you're missing a lot of heart. It's not going to damage your image to show a little compassion from time to time, ya know? I mean, rail against the runners and their problems all you want, that's your job, but help each other out from time to time how about it? That sound like a plan? Because as dumb as the runners act sometimes, if push came to shove and one of them called out for help, you know everyone with the capacity to do so would reach out to aid them. Runners stick together like that when it counts. It's one of the few things you could stand to learn from them.

And understand, I'm not trying to push some "Friendship is Magical" bullshit on you. I'm just saying look after your own. You can bitch them out all you want, but help a brother out when he's in need how about it? Is that so much to ask? Because until you're capable of that much, I don't want to hear shit about how we're tearing each other apart because we bitch at one another. We're a much stronger community of people who hate each other than you seem to be.